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DEAR CATHIE—
AS FAIRLY NEW PARENTS, WE ARE WATCHING OUR CHILDREN BEGIN TO DEVELOP INTO WHO THEY WILL BE, AND WE REALIZE THAT WE SHOULD ALSO BE PURPOSEFUL IN MOLDING THEM INTO THE KIND OF PEOPLE WE WANT THEM TO BECOME. WE ARE LOOKING FOR IDEAS AS TO HOW TO DO THAT! WHERE DO WE START AND WHAT SHOULD WE FOCUS ON? CAN YOU OFFER ANY INSIGHT ON THIS SUBJECT?
— PROACTIVE PARENTS
Dear Parents,
We applaud you for being proactive in considering your child’s development from the macro point of view. Raising children is one of the most difficult, challenging and important things you will ever do. One way to accomplish that task is to let your children share in your activities as you go through your daily life. Let your child see and understand your values through your actions.
As your young children see you living purposefully in the moment, you can invite them to share the joys of those daily experiences to the best of their abilities based on their age. Let’s use laundry as an example. A two-year-old can pull the laundry out of the dryer and put it in the laundry basket so it can be carried to the sofa to be folded. However, a three-year-old can match the socks into pairs, while a fouryear-old can actually fold the pants in half and sort them into piles for the different members of the family. Everyone is contributing to the work of being in a family while moving on the path towards ultimate self-reliance.
A common worry is children having expectations or feelings of entitlement. One way to minimize this in your family is to regularly cook with your children. Make the creation of a meal a family affair! Invite all members of the family to help you plan meals. Include your children in the purchasing of food, preparing food and cleaning up the kitchen after the meal. Perhaps your child can help put away the groceries, cut the vegetables, clean the crumbs, wash the dishes or put away the leftovers. This helps your child feel like a contributing member of the family, rather than just having the food appear upon the table magically! It is also a way to spend regular quality time together!
Include your children in your philanthropic work or doing for others in your community in whatever form that takes. Make a point to think past yourself and discuss this thinking openly and frequently with your children. Choose a family charity (or even a few charities) and work to make them a part of your family’s culture. This could start as small as giving home-made cookies to your neighbors or your child’s teacher or the school bus driver to choosing a way to help others at holiday time. It could also be service based, checking on an elderly neighbor or shoveling the driveway for somebody who is ill or disabled.
Be sure your child is involved in all aspects of these projects even though it can be more complicated and time consuming. This will help children to begin thinking outside their own bubble. If your family has little to give, you can include your children in recycling used toys to an organization for children in need, instilling the value of compassion.
As children develop, your goal for them is for them to learn to take their responsibilities seriously and grow into global citizens who will work to make the world a better place. Parents begin this effort when their children are very young with the intent to mold their children with lifelong values, where children see and participate in family activities with their parents. Your children are aware of everything you say and do. Why not use your daily chores and activities as a basis for their in-home education with you. What a wonderful opportunity and awesome experience. Enjoy this limited and special time together.
Cathie
Cathie Perolman has been involved in Montessori education for over 40 years. Cathie has worked in the classroom as a 3-6 assistant; a classroom teacher; a level leader; a teacher trainer; and a college professor. She currently spends her time mentoring teachers, conducting workshops for teachers and administrators; and writing for her blog and for magazines. She also serves as a consultant for schools and as a school validator for the Montessori Schools of Maryland. Cathie is the creator of the Color Coded Sound Games and the Rainbow Reading System as well as other reading and cosmic printable materials to enhance classrooms. Find them at cathieperolman.com.
