Last week, a school administrator confided her frustration about a situation many of us have seen. One of her assistants said she “just loves” when a teacher plays the Silence Game. In this version, when the children become noisy, the teacher calls the Silence Game to help them calm down — but then rewards each silent child with a sticker.

At first glance, this might look like a creative classroom management strategy: noise → silence → reward. But in a Montessori classroom, this picture is troubling for a few reasons.

The Real Purpose of the Silence Game 

Dr. Montessori created the Silence Game as an exercise in self-mastery and joyful discovery, not as a behavior-control tactic. Children are invited to create silence together — a state of stillness, concentration, and awareness. This is not “Simon Says” with a bribe at the end.

The game is most powerful when:

• It’s presented as a privilege and a shared experience, not a punishment or an emergency brake for noise.

• It taps into children’s natural curiosity (“Can we be so still we hear a bird outside?”) rather than their compliance.

• It becomes a moment of collective mindfulness that children help co-create.

When played this way, the Silence Game builds self-regulation, inner discipline, and a sense of community. Children feel the intrinsic satisfaction of calmness and control — and that’s the whole point.

Why Rewards Undermine the Goal

Giving stickers for silence sends the opposite message. It turns an experience of inner discovery into an external transaction. Instead of practicing self-control for its own sake, children learn: “Be quiet and you’ll get a prize.” Over time, this undermines intrinsic motivation, making the game far less effective.

Montessori education is built on the principle that children develop self-discipline through freedom within limits, purposeful activity, and respect for the environment. When we add extrinsic rewards, we teach children to rely on someone else’s approval rather than building their own inner compass.

Classroom Management vs. Child Development

It’s understandable why teachers reach for tools like stickers — they’re simple, quick, and often seem to “work.” But in Montessori our goal is to support development. The Silence Game isn’t a shortcut to quiet; it’s a tool for cultivating concentration and communal grace.

A more authentic approach might look like this:

• Invite the children to gather for the Silence Game at a neutral time, not as a reaction to noise.

• Make it playful: dim the lights slightly, sit together, whisper, “Let’s see if we can hear the clock ticking.”

• Allow the silence to emerge organically, without dangling a reward.

• Reflect briefly afterwards: “Did you notice how peaceful it felt? What sounds did you hear?”

This keeps the activity aligned with its Montessori roots — emphasizing self-discovery over compliance.

The Deeper Value of Silence

The Silence Game has a profound place in Montessori education. It can:

• Strengthen concentration and impulse control.

• Heighten sensory awareness (“I can hear my heartbeat!”).

• Create a sense of unity (“We made the silence together!”).

• Offer children a moment of calm and wonder in a busy day.

When done well, it’s a magical experience children cherish. Many Montessori graduates remember the Silence Game decades later as a high point of their classroom life.

Bottom Line

Using the Silence Game as a behavior-management tool with stickers misses its essential purpose. Montessori classrooms thrive on intrinsic motivation, mutual respect, and self-discipline — not prizes for compliance. By honoring the true spirit of the Silence Game, we help children discover the satisfaction of calmness, focus, and community from within.

Ask Ms. Montessori Practical Wisdom for Parents

In this column, we invite parents to bring their questions about raising children the Montessori way. Ms. Montessori offers gentle yet firm counsel rooted in deep respect for the child’s natural development. Whether the concern is about discipline, learning, family pressures, or the challenges of modern life, these answers are meant to reassure and guide with timeless principles.

Ms. Montessori believed that every child carries within them the blueprint of their own growth, and that the role of adults is not to mold them by force, but to prepare an environment in which their fullest potential may unfold. Her replies aim to honor that vision while giving parents practical strategies they can use today.

Ms. Montessori is actually the voice of many Montessori teachers, women and men, who channel their inner Montessori voice to offer some gentle parenting tips.

Grandparent Pressure

Dear Ms. Montessori, my mother insists that my three-year-old should already be learning to read. She continues to buy flashcards and drill him when she visits. I don’t want to offend her, but I feel this isn’t right. How do I handle it? – Conflicted Daughter

Dear Conflicted, your mother’s eagerness stems from love, but her methods reflect a misunderstanding of the natural development of young children. At three years of age, your son is in a “sensitive period” for language development. During this period, the child absorbs the spoken word, the rhythms of conversation, and the joy of storytelling effortlessly. He learns in the way he learns to walk—by living, imitating, and joyfully repeating what he sees and hears around him.

The danger of flashcards and drills is that they ask the child to perform before a solid foundation has been built. Reading must grow out of the child’s own inner readiness, not from an adult’s insistence. If we compel a child to recite what he does not yet understand, we replace joy with anxiety. Worse still, the child may come to believe that learning is about pleasing adults rather than discovering truth for himself.
How then can you respond with kindness to your mother while protecting your child? Begin by acknowledging her intention: “I see how much you want to help him.” Then gently explain: “Right now, he is preparing for reading through conversation, singing, and listening to stories. When the time comes, he will learn with enthusiasm.” If she can visit his classroom, the experience will speak louder than any words. She will see children joyfully tracing letters in sand, building words with movable alphabets, and reading with delight—not under pressure, but out of inner discovery. Ms. Montessori

You may also guide her energy into more fruitful channels. Invite her to read aloud to him, to sing songs from her childhood, or to tell him stories of the family. These activities are not only precious in their own right, but they nourish the very faculties that will enable him to read naturally in due time.

Never forget: the task of the parent is to safeguard the child’s freedom to grow according to his inner plan. To resist pressure—whether from grandparents, neighbors, or society at large—is often the most loving thing we can do. When we trust the child’s rhythm, we allow him to become a reader not by compulsion, but by joy. – Ms. Montessori

Years ago, when I first sat down with a group of eighth graders in a traditional private school to talk about grades, one boy said something that stayed with me: “I feel like my grades are a race I’m losing — even when I’ve learned more than I did last year.” That’s the moment it hit me again how the traditional grading system can distort learning. Letter grades and percentages compress a child’s effort, growth, and curiosity into a single symbol. They make it easy to measure compliance but harder to measure progress.

More schools today are moving toward mastery-based learning and progress reporting — and with good reason. These approaches give families a fuller, clearer picture of what students know and can do. They honor the process of learning, not just the end result, and they invite students to take real ownership of their education.

Moving Beyond One-Size-Fits-All Grading

Think of a classroom where a student struggles for weeks with fractions, while another is already ready for algebra. In a traditional system, the first student gets a C and the second an A, and both move on at the same time. In a mastery-based classroom, the first student keeps working with support until mastery is demonstrated, while the second moves ahead as soon as he’s ready.

A teacher at a small K–8 school put it this way: “It’s like teaching children to swim. You wouldn’t keep a child in the shallow end forever because of their birthday, and you wouldn’t send a non-swimmer into the deep end because of their age. You watch, you coach, you measure progress, and you let them advance when they’re ready.”

Why Progress Reports Beat Letter Grades

Instead of static grades, progress reports give parents a window into their child’s actual learning. One parent I spoke with said, “I used to dread report cards. Now I look forward to them. I can see exactly what skills my daughter has mastered, what she’s working on, and what support she needs.” Teachers find them equally useful for planning instruction and sparking meaningful conversations.

Levels of Mastery — A Continuum, Not a Checkbox

Too often we frame mastery as binary — “has mastered” or “has not mastered.” But learning is rarely that simple. The International Baccalaureate (IB), for example, uses levels of achievement to reflect a continuum of understanding.

A middle school teacher in our network likes to map skills to Bloom’s Taxonomy. She’ll tell her students, “You’re solidly at the ‘apply’ level on this math concept. Let’s aim for ‘analyze’ next.” Students can see themselves moving up the ladder — remembering, understanding, applying, analyzing, evaluating, creating — which reframes mastery as a journey, not a hurdle.

Portfolios: Bringing Learning to Life

Progress reports tell a story with words. Portfolios show it with evidence. They’re living archives of authentic student work — and they look different at each stage of development.

• Kindergarten–3rd Grade: Portfolios might hold drawings, early math activities, first stories, photographs of practical life work, and teacher notes documenting reading or presentations. I once watched a 6-year-old proudly flip through her portfolio, pointing out how her handwriting had “grown up.”
• 4th–6th Grade: Students can showcase multi-step projects, science experiments, essays, goal-setting sheets, and even peer feedback. A fifth grader at one of our schools told his parents at a conference, “This is the project where I learned to keep going even when it didn’t work the first time.”
• Secondary Level: Older students can build a record of research papers, capstone projects, leadership experiences, community service, and creative work. Some even lead their own portfolio conferences, presenting their growth to parents and teachers with confidence.

Narrative Progress Reports — Telling the Story of Learning

Narrative reports take progress reporting a step further. Instead of ticking boxes or filling in charts, teachers write a brief narrative covering academic progress, work habits, and social-emotional growth.

Done well, these reports don’t have to be overwhelming. One high school team uses a simple template: an opening paragraph, strengths, areas for growth, and next steps. They also invite students to write their own reflections, which both enriches the report and saves teacher time. “I was skeptical at first,” one teacher admitted. “But once I started writing evidence-based statements instead of trying to sum up everything, it actually became easier — and more meaningful.”

Implementation Tips

Making the shift doesn’t require an overnight revolution. Begin by setting clear learning standards and competencies. Train your staff in mastery-based practices. Develop or adopt tools to track mastery and student work. Communicate changes early and often to families and stakeholders. Pilot in one grade or subject area, gather feedback, and expand gradually.

The Payoff

Schools that make this shift often see immediate changes. Parent-teacher conferences become more productive. Students become more engaged because they understand where they’re headed and what they’ve achieved. Teachers can target interventions more precisely.

One principal summed it up perfectly: “For the first time, our conversations with parents are about learning — not about defending grades.”

A Call to Action

If you’re a school leader or educator, now is the time to start the conversation with your team. Explore tools and resources that support mastery and progress reporting. Plan a pilot, gather feedback, and commit to a timeline. Above all, involve your students and families in the process.

The shift from traditional grades to mastery and progress reporting isn’t just a change in paperwork. It’s a cultural transformation toward deeper, more personalized learning — one that can rekindle joy in teaching and learning alike.

Ask Ms. Montessori Practical Wisdom for Parents

In this column, we invite parents to bring their questions about raising children the Montessori way. Ms. Montessori offers gentle yet firm counsel rooted in deep respect for the child’s natural development. Whether the concern is about discipline, learning, family pressures, or the challenges of modern life, these answers are meant to reassure and guide with timeless principles.

Ms. Montessori believed that every child carries within them the blueprint of their own growth, and that the role of adults is not to mold them by force, but to prepare an environment in which their fullest potential may unfold. Her replies aim to honor that vision while giving parents practical strategies they can use today.

Ms. Montessori is actually the voice of many Montessori teachers, women and men, who channel their inner Montessori voice to offer some gentle parenting tips.

Grandparent Pressure

Dear Ms. Montessori, my mother insists that my three-year-old should already be learning to read. She continues to buy flashcards and drill him when she visits. I don’t want to offend her, but I feel this isn’t right. How do I handle it? – Conflicted Daughter

Dear Conflicted, your mother’s eagerness stems from love, but her methods reflect a misunderstanding of the natural development of young children. At three years of age, your son is in a “sensitive period” for language development. During this period, the child absorbs the spoken word, the rhythms of conversation, and the joy of storytelling effortlessly. He learns in the way he learns to walk—by living, imitating, and joyfully repeating what he sees and hears around him.

The danger of flashcards and drills is that they ask the child to perform before a solid foundation has been built. Reading must grow out of the child’s own inner readiness, not from an adult’s insistence. If we compel a child to recite what he does not yet understand, we replace joy with anxiety. Worse still, the child may come to believe that learning is about pleasing adults rather than discovering truth for himself.
How then can you respond with kindness to your mother while protecting your child? Begin by acknowledging her intention: “I see how much you want to help him.” Then gently explain: “Right now, he is preparing for reading through conversation, singing, and listening to stories. When the time comes, he will learn with enthusiasm.” If she can visit his classroom, the experience will speak louder than any words. She will see children joyfully tracing letters in sand, building words with movable alphabets, and reading with delight—not under pressure, but out of inner discovery. Ms. Montessori

You may also guide her energy into more fruitful channels. Invite her to read aloud to him, to sing songs from her childhood, or to tell him stories of the family. These activities are not only precious in their own right, but they nourish the very faculties that will enable him to read naturally in due time.

Never forget: the task of the parent is to safeguard the child’s freedom to grow according to his inner plan. To resist pressure—whether from grandparents, neighbors, or society at large—is often the most loving thing we can do. When we trust the child’s rhythm, we allow him to become a reader not by compulsion, but by joy. – Ms. Montessori

On November 1, 2025, child care will be free or highly subsidized for every family in New Mexico, regardless of income. Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham’s decision to remove income limits, end copayments, and boost reimbursement rates is a major shift in public policy. Centers that pay their entry-level staff at least $18 an hour and offer 10 hours of care a day, five days a week, will qualify for extra incentives. The program is funded through the state’s Land Grant Permanent Fund and Early Childhood Trust Fund, built over the years from oil, gas, and investment income.

For many families, this is life-changing. KOB-TV in Albuquerque spoke with parents who said the savings would help them afford everything from holidays and vacations to a long-awaited down payment on a house. One parent summed it up simply: “Everybody deserves to be able to keep working and not cut as much out of their budget for child care.”

Providers, however, see both opportunity and challenge. Ruth Porta, owner of La Esperanza Child Development Centers, said, “They deserve that help … but how is this going to be sustainable?” Natalie Aragon of ABQ Childcare is already “hiring at least one to two people per classroom” to handle the expected surge. Their comments reflect what many of us in the field are thinking: this is bold, but it needs careful execution.

To understand how this plays out at ground level, I spoke with my friend and colleague Sheila Griffin, who runs Leap Montessori School in New Mexico. Sheila is excited for families but realistic about what the policy does and doesn’t cover.

For preschoolers, tuition will be fully funded. For elementary-age children, the state covers before- and after-school care but not the entire school day. At her school, that means families still pay a couple of hundred dollars a month — a significant reduction, but not completely free. For schools with higher tuition, the remaining gap would be larger.

Sheila is passionate about preserving the authenticity of Montessori. Some worry that quality systems like New Mexico’s FOCUS framework will force schools to compromise. She’s found the opposite. By making only minor, respectful adjustments — such as adding a simple storytelling tray to meet a literacy benchmark — she’s been able to maintain full Montessori fidelity.

She’s also learned to be strategic with state Pre-K funding. Taking a large number of Pre-K seats can squeeze kindergarten enrollment, weakening the three-year primary cycle at the heart of Montessori. She solved it by starting a small multi-age elementary class for ready five-year-olds—her advice: guard your three-year cycle and plan.

When asked if universal free child care threatens private providers, Sheila didn’t hesitate: “Absolutely not.” She believes the state intends to raise the floor for everyone, not undercut private schools. With stable reimbursement and higher pay for teachers, she sees a stronger future for early childhood educators.

What’s Covered at a Glance

Funding flows directly to the school, not the parent. Programs must be licensed and registered with ECECD to qualify. For schools, that means a predictable stream of public support, a chance to serve more families, and the resources to improve staff pay.

Still, challenges remain. State reimbursements may not fully cover the higher costs of Montessori programs, quality standards will require some adaptation, and competition for qualified teachers will almost certainly grow. Knowing this in advance helps schools plan wisely and stay ahead.

If you run a Montessori school in New Mexico, here are a few steps to consider:

• Engage early. Ensure your schedule and licensing align with reimbursable hours.
• Budget with real numbers. Model tuition and reimbursement scenarios using actual state rates.
• Protect the three-year cycle. Don’t overcommit Pre-K slots at the expense of kindergarten continuity.
• Recruit ahead of demand. Build a salary scale and invest in professional development to attract and keep staff.
• Communicate clearly with families. Celebrate the savings, but be honest about what’s covered and what’s not. Highlight what makes your Montessori program distinct.

Other states are watching New Mexico closely. The state can do this now because it has built an endowment-style funding engine over the years; others will need a different path, whether dedicated revenue, phased rollouts, or public-private partnerships. But the essentials — stable funding, quality systems that respect program identity, a separate agency focused on early childhood, and true partnership with community providers — can be replicated anywhere.

As Montessori educators, we’ve always believed early childhood education is a public good. New Mexico is testing what it looks like to fund that belief at scale. Sheila’s experience convinces me that, if we stay engaged, protect fidelity, and plan intelligently, this moment can widen access and strengthen the work we cherish.

On November 1, 2025, child care will be free or highly subsidized for every family in New Mexico, regardless of income. Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham’s decision to remove income limits, end copayments, and boost reimbursement rates is a major shift in public policy. Centers that pay their entry-level staff at least $18 an hour and offer 10 hours of care a day, five days a week, will qualify for extra incentives. The program is funded through the state’s Land Grant Permanent Fund and Early Childhood Trust Fund, built over the years from oil, gas, and investment income.

For many families, this is life-changing. KOB-TV in Albuquerque spoke with parents who said the savings would help them afford everything from holidays and vacations to a long-awaited down payment on a house. One parent summed it up simply: “Everybody deserves to be able to keep working and not cut as much out of their budget for child care.”

Providers, however, see both opportunity and challenge. Ruth Porta, owner of La Esperanza Child Development Centers, said, “They deserve that help … but how is this going to be sustainable?” Natalie Aragon of ABQ Childcare is already “hiring at least one to two people per classroom” to handle the expected surge. Their comments reflect what many of us in the field are thinking: this is bold, but it needs careful execution.

To understand how this plays out at ground level, I spoke with my friend and colleague Sheila Griffin, who runs Leap Montessori School in New Mexico. Sheila is excited for families but realistic about what the policy does and doesn’t cover.

For preschoolers, tuition will be fully funded. For elementary-age children, the state covers before- and after-school care but not the entire school day. At her school, that means families still pay a couple of hundred dollars a month — a significant reduction, but not completely free. For schools with higher tuition, the remaining gap would be larger.

Sheila is passionate about preserving the authenticity of Montessori. Some worry that quality systems like New Mexico’s FOCUS framework will force schools to compromise. She’s found the opposite. By making only minor, respectful adjustments — such as adding a simple storytelling tray to meet a literacy benchmark — she’s been able to maintain full Montessori fidelity.

She’s also learned to be strategic with state Pre-K funding. Taking a large number of Pre-K seats can squeeze kindergarten enrollment, weakening the three-year primary cycle at the heart of Montessori. She solved it by starting a small multi-age elementary class for ready five-year-olds—her advice: guard your three-year cycle and plan.

When asked if universal free child care threatens private providers, Sheila didn’t hesitate: “Absolutely not.” She believes the state intends to raise the floor for everyone, not undercut private schools. With stable reimbursement and higher pay for teachers, she sees a stronger future for early childhood educators.

What’s Covered at a Glance

Funding flows directly to the school, not the parent. Programs must be licensed and registered with ECECD to qualify. For schools, that means a predictable stream of public support, a chance to serve more families, and the resources to improve staff pay.

Still, challenges remain. State reimbursements may not fully cover the higher costs of Montessori programs, quality standards will require some adaptation, and competition for qualified teachers will almost certainly grow. Knowing this in advance helps schools plan wisely and stay ahead.

If you run a Montessori school in New Mexico, here are a few steps to consider:

• Engage early. Ensure your schedule and licensing align with reimbursable hours.
• Budget with real numbers. Model tuition and reimbursement scenarios using actual state rates.
• Protect the three-year cycle. Don’t overcommit Pre-K slots at the expense of kindergarten continuity.
• Recruit ahead of demand. Build a salary scale and invest in professional development to attract and keep staff.
• Communicate clearly with families. Celebrate the savings, but be honest about what’s covered and what’s not. Highlight what makes your Montessori program distinct.

Other states are watching New Mexico closely. The state can do this now because it has built an endowment-style funding engine over the years; others will need a different path, whether dedicated revenue, phased rollouts, or public-private partnerships. But the essentials — stable funding, quality systems that respect program identity, a separate agency focused on early childhood, and true partnership with community providers — can be replicated anywhere.

As Montessori educators, we’ve always believed early childhood education is a public good. New Mexico is testing what it looks like to fund that belief at scale. Sheila’s experience convinces me that, if we stay engaged, protect fidelity, and plan intelligently, this moment can widen access and strengthen the work we cherish.

Ask Ms. Montessori Practical Wisdom for Parents

In this column, we invite parents to bring their questions about raising children the Montessori way. Ms. Montessori offers gentle yet firm counsel rooted in deep respect for the child’s natural development. Whether the concern is about discipline, learning, family pressures, or the challenges of modern life, these answers are meant to reassure and guide with timeless principles.

Ms. Montessori believed that every child carries within them the blueprint of their own growth, and that the role of adults is not to mold them by force, but to prepare an environment in which their fullest potential may unfold. Her replies aim to honor that vision while giving parents practical strategies they can use today.

Ms. Montessori is actually the voice of many Montessori teachers, women and men, who channel their inner Montessori voice to offer some gentle parenting tips.

Grandparent Pressure

Dear Ms. Montessori, my mother insists that my three-year-old should already be learning to read. She continues to buy flashcards and drill him when she visits. I don’t want to offend her, but I feel this isn’t right. How do I handle it? – Conflicted Daughter

Dear Conflicted, your mother’s eagerness stems from love, but her methods reflect a misunderstanding of the natural development of young children. At three years of age, your son is in a “sensitive period” for language development. During this period, the child absorbs the spoken word, the rhythms of conversation, and the joy of storytelling effortlessly. He learns in the way he learns to walk—by living, imitating, and joyfully repeating what he sees and hears around him.

The danger of flashcards and drills is that they ask the child to perform before a solid foundation has been built. Reading must grow out of the child’s own inner readiness, not from an adult’s insistence. If we compel a child to recite what he does not yet understand, we replace joy with anxiety. Worse still, the child may come to believe that learning is about pleasing adults rather than discovering truth for himself.
How then can you respond with kindness to your mother while protecting your child? Begin by acknowledging her intention: “I see how much you want to help him.” Then gently explain: “Right now, he is preparing for reading through conversation, singing, and listening to stories. When the time comes, he will learn with enthusiasm.” If she can visit his classroom, the experience will speak louder than any words. She will see children joyfully tracing letters in sand, building words with movable alphabets, and reading with delight—not under pressure, but out of inner discovery. Ms. Montessori

You may also guide her energy into more fruitful channels. Invite her to read aloud to him, to sing songs from her childhood, or to tell him stories of the family. These activities are not only precious in their own right, but they nourish the very faculties that will enable him to read naturally in due time.

Never forget: the task of the parent is to safeguard the child’s freedom to grow according to his inner plan. To resist pressure—whether from grandparents, neighbors, or society at large—is often the most loving thing we can do. When we trust the child’s rhythm, we allow him to become a reader not by compulsion, but by joy. – Ms. Montessori