by Simone Davies

Is your child ready to use the potty or toilet?

With summer around the corner, I’m getting more questions in class about toilet training and if I have any Montessori tips. So today, here is the approach I prefer when your child is showing interest in using the toilet.

“Learning to use the toilet is a natural process that begins when your child’s desire to be grown up and his neurological development have reached the point where he can control his bladder and bowels. We don’t train children to use the toilet, we support them when they are ready.”

(How to Raise an Amazing Child: The Montessori way to bring up caring confident children, by Tim Seldin)

A Natural, Gradual Process

Using the toilet is a very natural and gradual process that develops at the child’s pace, rather than when the parent decides the child is going to be toilet trained.

We can begin very naturally when the child is young, talking with them about their bodily functions as we change their nappy. It is a normal process, and we can explain that everyone uses the toilet to get rid of the parts of food that our body does not need. It is also a good idea not to give them a negative feeling towards these bodily functions, for example, by making faces when changing their nappy.

A potty can be available from a young age so the child can sit on it and imitate others in the household, even before they have bladder and bowel control.

Children often begin to be interested in toilets around one year old. Around this age, the child develops the physical ability to control their bladder and bowel, but mostly they just want to flush the toilet or play with the water. The child can be redirected to a more appropriate place for playing with water, such as the bathroom sink.

Then, when the child becomes interested in dressing and undressing themselves, we can choose clothing that they can manage themselves, so that they can learn to pull their own trousers up and down. Elastic-waisted trousers can be very useful at this time! As disposable nappies are so good at keeping a child dry these days, it can also be nice for your child to wear underpants or training pants around the house as much as possible, so that the child feels the difference between wet and dry. They begin to learn that it feels nicer to be dry and begin to hold their bladder for longer periods.

After this very gradual preparation, and when the child is showing more interest in sitting on the toilet or potty, you can slowly teach them how to pull down their pants, sit on the toilet/potty, use toilet paper, pull up their pants, flush the toilet, and wash their hands.

Give Independence

Once children show interest in using the toilet/potty, the bathroom can be set up to give them as much independence as possible.

If using a potty, it is a good idea to keep it in the bathroom rather than moving it around the house. That way, your child can always find it. The bathroom is also a good place to have a pile of cloths for cleaning, a bucket for wet clothing, and a supply of clean underpants. The child can help by getting some dry underpants and putting any wet pants in the bucket. When a child is involved in the process, the child (not the adult) has ownership of the process.

 

The Adult’s Role

“There should be no pressure, no reward or punishment, no adult deciding when the child should learn to use the potty. The environment is prepared, and the child is free to explore and imitate in these natural developmental stages.” (Susan Stephenson, The Joyful Child)

It is best for the parent to support the child but not become emotionally involved. Here are some ideas to assist the child in the process of learning to use the toilet:

• Find ways to make the child feel confident. For example, provide a small stool for their feet when using the toilet.

• Incorporate toileting into the child’s routine. Offer the potty/toilet at times when the child normally pees, for example: upon waking; before going outside; after coming in from outside; after lunch/before nap; etc.

• Say, “It’s time to use the toilet” rather than “Do you want to go to the toilet?” (the answer will probably be no) or say, “I think you need to go to the toilet” (the adult becomes involved). As children become more aware of their bodies, they will be able to tell you, “No, I don’t need to go.” You can then say something like, “Of course, I know you will tell me if you need any help when you need to go.” You can also use an alarm clock set at regular intervals to remind them to go, “The clock says it’s time to use the toilet.”

• Never force a child to use the toilet or potty.

• Never scold or over-congratulate—going to the toilet is the most normal thing to do and we should keep it in its proper place, for example, avoid clapping and celebrating

• Do not interrupt children to use the toilet—for example, wait until they have finished their puzzle, etc. before offering the potty.

 

When they don’t make it in time…

If a child becomes wet, stay calm and be reassuring. Do not make them feel ashamed. You may wish to say, “I see you are wet. Let’s go get some dry clothes.” Your child can get them from the supply in the bathroom and even help wipe the floor and wash their hands. Let them change at their own pace, and give help if they ask for it or if they are overwhelmed.

If they have wet clothes but they are playing with a toy, you can wipe up around them and wait until they are finished before suggesting you get some dry clothes.

Some issues can cause a setback to toileting, for example, the birth of a younger sibling, a divorce, or some other upheaval in daily life. These potential problems tend to resolve themselves if the adult does not make a big deal about it.

Really, the most important tip is to follow your own child.

Simone Davies is the best-selling author of The Montessori Toddler and co-author of The Montessori Baby and The Montessori Child, with over 600,000 copies sold worldwide and translated into more than 30 languages. With over 20 years of experience as an AMI-trained Montessori educator, both in the classroom and at home with her two children (now young adults), Simone is dedicated to bringing the authentic Montessori approach to families. She fosters respect and kindness in her work, helping families raise compassionate and responsible human beings. Since 2008, she has been running her own Montessori playgroup in Amsterdam, Jacaranda Tree Montessori, and continues to share her expertise globally through her popular Instagram, blog, podcast, and online courses.

 

by Tim Seldin

Sarah Martinez remembers sitting at her kitchen table three years ago, agonizing over whether to keep her daughter Emma in Montessori for kindergarten. The public school was right around the corner, and the choice seemed obvious at first. Yet something held her back from making that switch—an intuition that would later prove transformative for her daughter’s education.

Each year, thousands of parents face this same pivotal decision point in their children’s educational journey. When your child can attend the local public schools for free, why would anyone want to invest in another year’s tuition? While the answer may be connected to family finances, many families make their children’s education a top priority and see the choice of staying in Montessori as an essential investment in their children’s future.

Other families hope to have their children move to another highly regarded private school. They worry that if they don’t get in at the earliest age, these schools will begin accepting other children and they will never get a spot. They don’t realize that many well-known private schools focus their attention on the higher grades but offer programs for younger children to meet the demands of their existing families. Often, these early childhood programs are much less sophisticated than those provided by Montessori schools.

The key point to keep in mind is that everything comes together in the third year of the Montessori Children’s House program, the kindergarten year. This is a time when Montessori children blossom!

“Free public kindergarten versus another year of tuition; it felt like such an obvious decision at first,” reflects Michael Chen, whose son is now in fourth grade. “But when we really looked at what our son would be giving up by leaving Montessori, the calculation changed completely.”

Consistency matters deeply, especially in the first six years of life. When children transfer from Montessori to a traditional kindergarten, they face a dramatic shift in their learning environment. “The adjustment period alone took months,” shares Jennifer Blake, whose first child transferred to traditional kindergarten before she made a different choice for her younger children. “Looking back, we lost precious learning time just helping our daughter adapt to a completely different way of being in school.”

The contrast between Montessori and conventional kindergarten programs goes far beyond teaching methods. In traditional kindergarten settings, children must adjust to an environment where morning announcements interrupt the flow of learning; group instruction takes precedence over individual exploration; and teacher-directed activities replace self-directed learning. Most kindergartens have much lower expectations for five-year-olds than Montessori programs, which dramatically changes the course of their learning during this crucial year of their lives.

Maria Anderson, now a high school math teacher, saw this difference clearly when observing both systems. “In my son’s Montessori class, five-year-olds work with sophisticated mathematical concepts using concrete materials. Their understanding of the decimal system, place value, and mathematical operations becomes internalized through hands-on experience. When children leave before they’ve had time to fully absorb these concepts, that early learning often evaporates because it isn’t reinforced in traditional settings.”

Lisa Thompson witnessed this difference firsthand when her daughter Kate completed the three-year Montessori cycle before moving to a public school for first grade. “By the time Kate entered first grade, she had such a solid foundation in mathematics and language that she was able to help other students. But it wasn’t just about academic skills; she knew how to learn independently and wasn’t thrown off by new challenges.”

The research supporting the Montessori approach continues to grow. Educational psychologist Howard Gardner noted a concerning pattern in traditional education: “Many schools have fallen into a pattern of giving kids exercises and drills that result in their getting answers on tests that look like understanding. Most students, from as young as those in kindergarten to students in some of the finest colleges in America, do not understand what they’ve studied in the most basic sense of the term. They cannot take knowledge learned in one setting and apply it appropriately in a different setting.”

Montessori’s focus on teaching for understanding directly addresses this challenge. In a primary Montessori classroom, three- and four-year-olds benefit from two years of sensorial preparation for academic skills by working with concrete materials. This hands-on experience gradually allows the child to form mental pictures of abstract concepts. Parents and educators have often underestimated the value of these sensorial experiences. Yet, research consistently shows that young children learn by observing and manipulating their environment, not through textbooks and workbook exercises.

Robert Patel’s experience with his son Jake illustrated another crucial aspect of the kindergarten year: leadership development. “We almost pulled Jake out after his fourth year,” Robert admits. “But watching him become a classroom leader during his kindergarten year transformed him from a hesitant child into a confident learner. That confidence has stayed with him through middle school.”

Many parents worry that their five-year-old will spend the kindergarten year taking care of younger children instead of doing their own work. Emily Williams, whose daughter Rachel is now in college, laughs at this common concern. “What we discovered was that teaching younger children actually deepened Rachel’s understanding of the concepts she had learned. When she had to explain something to a younger child, it really cemented her own learning.”

Five-year-olds are typically the leaders and role models in the primary Montessori classroom. They help set the tone and serve as examples of appropriate behavior. They often help younger children with their work, teach lessons or correct errors. Most have been waiting the longest time to be one of the ‘big kids,’ and the experience of playing this leadership role does wonders to reinforce their sense of autonomy and self-confidence.

The kindergarten year is also a time of profound intellectual development. Five-year-olds are beginning to reflect upon the world in new ways. They pay closer attention, notice more details, ask more questions, and begin to explain the world in their own terms. It’s a crucial period of integration when children begin to synthesize everything they’ve learned in their first few years.

David Foster, whose daughter continued in Montessori through elementary school, saw this integration process firsthand. “During that kindergarten year, we watched in amazement as all the pieces started coming together. The careful preparation of the previous two years suddenly blossomed into this incredible period of growth and understanding.”

By the end of age five, Montessori students commonly develop advanced academic skills, but this isn’t our ultimate goal. Our real hope is that these children will feel good about themselves and enjoy learning. The key concept is readiness. In Montessori, if a child is not developmentally ready to advance to a new skill or level of understanding, they are neither left behind nor made to feel like a failure. Our goal is not to ensure that children develop at a predetermined rate but to ensure that whatever they do, they do well and feel good about themselves as learners.

“The decision to stay for kindergarten was really our first step in recognizing how powerful this approach to education could be,” reflects Jennifer Blake, whose children ultimately attended Montessori through eighth grade. “My children learned not just academic skills but how to think, how to solve problems, and how to be confident learners. That foundation has served them incredibly well throughout their education.”

When making this crucial decision for your child, remember that kindergarten is more than just another year of preschool. It’s the culmination of a carefully prepared cycle of learning that builds toward the moment when children consolidate their skills, embrace leadership roles, and integrate their understanding of the world around them. As countless families have discovered, the investment in that final year can yield returns that last a lifetime. 

Tim Seldin is President of the Montessori Foundation. His more than 40 years of experience in Montessori education includes 22 years as Headmaster of the Barrie School in Silver Spring, Maryland, his alma mater from toddler through high school graduation. Tim was Co-Founder and Director of the Institute for Advanced Montessori Studies and the Center for Guided Montessori Studies. He earned a B.A. in History and Philosophy from Georgetown University, an M.Ed. in Educational Administration and Supervision from The American University, and his Montessori certification from the American Montessori Society.

Tim is the author of several books on Montessori Education, including How to Raise An Amazing Child, and The World in the Palm of Her Hand. Please be sure to look for his new books, The Montessori Way co-authored with Paul Epstein and Robin Howe and Montessori for Every Family, co-authored with Lorna McGrath.

by Paula Lillard Preschlack and Sarah Robbins

“All other factors… sink into insignificance beside the importance of feeding the hungry intelligence and opening vast fields of knowledge to eager exploration.”— Maria Montessori, To Educate the Human Potential

What happens when children use books to learn?

Two seven-year-olds in a lower elementary Montessori class say they want to write a research paper about elephants. Great! Go ahead! They discuss with their teacher what to do first: Find information about elephants. Where? In books.

As you read how this process plays out, I think you’ll see why Forest Bluff School (Illinois)—as a true Montessori school—continues to deliver an education that doesn’t necessarily follow the latest trends. In essence, you’ll understand, “Why not just Google it?”

The two young girls begin their search on foot. There are some books around the school building, so they visit neighboring classrooms and various closets of books to look for sources that might discuss elephants. They are on a quest! They must think about what to look for, which categories, nonfiction versus storybooks . . . all this takes some thinking, some discerning. They are only seven years old, but they can already tell that a book about mammals might have information on elephants. They find a book about Africa. This seems promising, too. They collect the six relevant books they find and bring them back to their classroom. Then they sit with their pile and start looking through them and reading.

They find a page about elephants and rush off to get lined paper. They start writing facts down in their own words:

Elephants are 13 feet tall. Isn’t that amazing?

Elephants only eat plants. But they can eat wood!

They can weigh 15,000 pounds! Isn’t that amazing?

Elephant brains are bigger than human brains, but they are much smaller compared to their bodies than for humans. That is so interesting!

Elephants are the biggest animals on the earth, next to whales! Isn’t that amazing?

The teacher tries to keep the grin off her face when they show her their first sentences. This personalization of the research is so like these two girls, but she knows they will depart from this style as they learn more about objective reporting. For this early paper, she’ll let them include their reactions.

When the girls have exhausted the books in the building, they are not satisfied. There is so much more they want to know about elephants! Why do some have bigger tusks than others? How do people ride them? How old do they live to be? How many babies can they have? And on and on.

To find answers, they could go to the local public library with their parents after school, or their teacher may fetch some books for them the next day to keep their research going. If they were eight years old or older, they would walk to the town’s local library during the day and return with a pile (as is customary in this school). Students ages eight and older learn to use the library’s Dewey Decimal System to find books on their topic and search the aisles by numbers and letters to find the section with their topic. This requires an exercise in alphabetizing, too.

When they start using the library independently, Forest Bluff students get an idea of how information is logically organized through a physical experience. For example, elephants are in the animal section, and this would take these girls near books about other animals. The students would look through the books that focus on elephants to decide which ones would be helpful. Some will prove too cursory for their next layer of research, with just a few sentences on each page. One book may look hard to read, with very few pictures, but they might decide to check it out for the details they’re looking for and then add it to their growing pile. They’ll plan this walk to the library by estimating the time it takes to walk there and back and how long they’ll allow themselves to find books and check them out. They’ll need to sign out of the classroom with their teacher, sign in to the library with the librarians, out of the library, and then back into their school.

Can you see all the things that are happening here? How might this scene unfold differently if the girls simply Googled elephants on a computer?

If they had instead searched through a computer, someone—or something—else would have done all this thinking for them:

• Which information to interact with?

• Which answers are the right ones for the questions they have?

• What reading level should be presented to them (not knowing their abilities, their capacity to grow in these abilities through their motivation to comprehend the information)?

• Where the information fits in the broader context of the world and how to categorize the information.

Also consider all the physical movement involved in gathering information: walking through their school building, climbing up on a step stool to reach books in the closet, lifting and sliding books back into place in order to leave the closet organized for others, asking teachers in other rooms if they may borrow a book, eventually navigating the local public library, carrying the heavy books back from the library. How about the time this gives them to think while they do all this? To discuss what they want to find? To navigate, to search, to make decisions? To check their watches to make sure they’re back to the school building on time? To discover by experience roughly how long it takes to walk that distance between the library and the school.

So, so many things happen that just don’t happen when you Google information!

Is the Information Accurate? How Will They Know?

Googling may be faster, but online searches skip all the foundational building of a researcher. A student growing up without this foundation is missing out on doing things for themselves on so many levels. When students use computers instead of walking through these physical and mental steps, too much is being done for them.

It’s true that those books about elephants may have been a little outdated if they weren’t published in the last few years. Depending on the topic of study, some information changes monthly in our world today as new results are found. However, the process of learning how to research is the foundational step upon which all further success depends, and, therefore, it comes first. If a set of encyclopedias is several years old, it still serves its purpose for young children because it presents a reliable, accessible source of collected information that is categorized and logical, and almost every topic you can think of can be located. This is so exciting for curious young minds! A physical encyclopedia is just the right structure and speed to match their capacities and feed their inquisitive nature.

Over time, students develop their ability to discern between accurate information and outdated information by experiences with solid sources alongside their teachers and peers. At the completion of their six years in elementary and two additional years at the secondary level, they emerge as experienced, critical thinkers.

When children begin searching online before they are ready, sources of information can appear too similar for a child to recognize value differences. By contrast, with physical books and periodicals, children can pick up simple clues: the cartoonish pictures versus real photographs of elephants; the year the book was published; the references in the back; the mention of real scientists in the field studying elephants versus a story about an elephant with a name looking for his mommy. When our children see these things, they have the stepping stones to noticing more subtle differences in online searches when they are more experienced in adolescence.

Will They Understand the Internet?

As a side note, you may wonder if your children will be comfortable with the online world if they don’t experience it in grade school. Paula has a great example of watching a very “hands-on” learner—her own son—grow up at Forest Bluff without any technology until high school. The result? Her son became fascinated with computers in college and became a coder, a profession he loves. Like most Forest Bluff graduates, this young man goes on a search every time he wonders about something, which is several times a day. With his inquisitive mind that was nurtured and encouraged in Montessori, he finds “Great Courses” audio recordings on a variety of subjects, watches YouTube videos of various experts talking about their fields and reads tons and tons of books. His interests range from the history of obscure countries to neuroscience to astrophysics to international politics…almost anything! But Paula’s son is not unusual among Montessori graduates. When children hear, “You want to research elephants? Great! Go for it!” from the time they were six and seven at school, their curiosity and excitement about learning just grows and grows. Why not?

And by the way, when Paula asks her 22-year-old son at the dinner table, “How do you know all this incredible information?!” He sometimes answers, “Mom, I just Googled it.”

Look for Part II of this article in the next issue! 

Paula Lillard Preschlack is a writer and a speaker. She has spent 25 years as a teacher and the head of school at Forest Bluff School. She just released her first book about Montessori education, The Montessori Potential. Paula Preschlack has given over 100 talks at Forest Buff School and at other Montessori schools, teacher training courses, and conferences. Her work focuses on the principles and successes of the Montessori approach, learned from over 25 years of teaching and observing children from birth to adulthood.

Paula is a graduate of Hampshire College and has a master’s degree in education from Loyola University, Baltimore, MD. She is AMI certified for all Montessori age levels: Assistants to Infancy, Primary, and Elementary, and she audited the NAMTA/AMI Orientation to Adolescent Studies in 2018.

Sarah Robbins has been a teacher at Forest Bluff School for over 20 years: first as an Elementary teacher of 9-to-12-year-olds, then for 6-to-9-year-olds and finally for 12-to-15-year-olds in the Secondary Level. “My ten years of teaching at the Secondary Level was an inspiring experience for me intellectually and also experientially because of the three off-campus trips each year that were largely planned and carried out by the students themselves. We were often out camping and working in nature for up to two weeks at a time: an adventurous, challenging and tremendously rewarding experience. Today, I am thrilled to be working once again in the Elementary classroom with 6-to-9-year-olds for whom everything is so new and exciting. I love sharing in their joy and enthusiasm for their work and watching them develop strong moral character and the ability to collaborate in their work together.”

A Developmental Perspective

by Andrew Faulstich

Many adolescent parents find themselves wondering what happened to their once talkative and engaging child, who has suddenly become more distant and peer-focused in adolescence. This transformation is both natural and necessary, representing what Montessori described as a social and physical rebirth. This article explores why this shift occurs and provides practical guidance for parents on how to evolve their relationship with their adolescent positively. By learning to listen to their adolescents truly, parents can maintain a strong connection even as the nature of their relationship changes. The key is recognizing that, while your adolescents may seem to be pulling away, they need your support and acceptance more than ever as they navigate this critical period of identity formation.

Every year I have multiple caregivers ask me the same question: Where has my child gone?

The arc of these stories is strikingly similar. When their children were elementary-aged, they were talkative, curious about the world, and enjoyed being with their caregivers. At the end of the day, they ran out to the car and told their caregivers story after story about their day.

Then, in what seemed like an abrupt shift at age twelve, the conversation about the school day started and ended with one word: fine.

The elementary child is gone; replaced by an adolescent, who cares more about peers than school and seems like an entirely new person.

To parents, this abrupt shift in the caregiver-child relationship can be startling. However, it does not mean that your relationship with your adolescent is over. Rather, it must take a new form. To achieve this new relationship, caregivers must learn to listen to their adolescent in a new way. To listen to our adolescents, we must understand the massive developmental shifts that occur for them during this unique period in their lives.

Why is there such a sudden shift in personality when young people become adolescents?

Montessori described the adolescent plane, from twelve to eighteen years old, as a social and physical rebirth. The young person ceases to become a child, shedding their childhood body and identity, and must grow into their new adult bodies and identities.

The obvious changes are the physical ones: puberty brings new changes to the adolescent nearly every day. As they grow into their adult body, they don’t know what changes will occur next.

While we cannot see the social rebirth on the outside, the sudden change in relationship with parents is a manifestation of that inner change.

Adolescents are seeking social and economic independence as they begin to see their place in the adult world. They are asking three key questions about their identities: Who am I? What am I good at? What am I good for? In that search, they begin to look for role models outside the home. Whereas the elementary child looked up to their parents as “superheroes,” adolescents develop a critical lens to the adults around them as they scrutinize their actions to understand how they want to act as they become adults.

What is most surprising for adults is that early adolescence is a period with a decreased academic capacity. However, this is not because students literally lose the capacity to learn new things! It is because their focus is on constructing their new identities in the context of the social worlds around them. They need positive experiences in their peer group to practice the “selves” they will become, and the most potent of these experiences are typically non-academic. Adolescents are in a period of experimentation, seeking to understand the ways they fit in the world, which is why their relationship with their parents must change. They are transforming into a fundamentally new person and will need new ways to relate to their parents in the context of their new identities.

How to Listen and Observe Your Adolescent

Preparing Yourself to Fully Listen: Montessori wrote that if we provide a developmentally appropriate environment for adolescents, if we learn to truly listen to their needs and support the self-construction of their personalities, then noble characteristics would emerge. I have seen in my own experience with adolescents that they can be the most kind, thoughtful, introspective, and funny people I have ever met. Yet, we cannot “teach” them to be this way; we must prepare an environment for these qualities to emerge, and this environment begins at home.

We must remember that adolescents are looking to you, as caregivers, for models of how to act in the world. Adolescents begin to realize that many adults say they hold certain ethical convictions, and then they proceed to act in contrast to those values. Adolescents are particularly sensitive and critical of such hypocrisy. Knowing that our adolescents are always watching, we must examine ourselves as adults and caregivers: What are we modeling? When we interact with their peers, teachers, other family, and friends, are we ourselves being model citizens? Are we acting in a way that invites authentic and safe conversation from our adolescents?

If your adolescent is pulling away from family life, that means they require more meaningful citizenship in the home.

Connecting

Your

Adolescent to Adult-Like Responsi-

bility: To truly honor your adolescent, you must recognize that the process of development is messy and that they will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not ready for meaningful, adult-like work. In fact, it is precisely through the process of trial and error that they form their personalities.

We must learn to listen to more than just their words, but also their actions. We know that adolescents are seeking to form their new identities in the context of the social worlds they inhabit, including the social world of your immediate family. If your adolescent is pulling away from family life, that means they require more meaningful citizenship in the home. What are real (not contrived or childish) responsibilities that your adolescent can take on which will help them toward independence and a meaningful contribution to family life? Offering such opportunities, as invitations, rather than commands, will allow your adolescent to find meaning in their family role and have a new means of relating to you.

Supporting your adolescent in finding a job is also a key developmental experience toward economic independence. One of my former students struggled academically due to learning differences she had. This initially led to a lack of confidence broadly, as she felt unable to keep up with her peers. That same year, she became old enough to be a lifeguard, and it was a key experience which changed her entire sense of self. For the first time, not only was her work important, but she was promoted to become an integral part of the pool management team. The confidence she gained through her experiences as a lifeguard transferred to her outlook in school: she was more confident, was more willing to take risks, and demonstrated confidence and poise.

Often, adolescents will not explicitly say that they are feeling uncertain, but we can read their inner feelings from the indirect communication they’re giving us. We can listen to those needs and be the dynamic link to those adult-like responsibilities that give them a new way to relate to us and the world. Central to this is offering choice and voice. We never want to superimpose needs on our adolescents. Rather, we provide options and should engage in conversation with them about what they want and need, recognizing that they are still in the process of discovering that for themselves!

Holding Your Judgment

Developmentally, adolescents are always concerned with what others will think of them. The metaphor is that they feel as though they are always “on stage,” being watched and judged by others. That means that when they muster the courage to have a difficult conversation with you, they are looking very closely at your reaction, for any hint of judgment or dismissal of their experiences. Often, the simplest reaction, such as a raised eyebrow or question (e.g., Is it really that bad?) could trigger your adolescent to think they’re not being fully heard.

Ultimately, what adolescents are looking for is the knowledge that you will continue to love and accept them no matter what happens. That doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have your own feelings about what they tell you or what they do. However, how you respond and express those feelings is key.

Difficult conversations are key moments to model care and honesty, and it’s always important to start by expressing care. You might enter the conversation by saying: “I’m so glad that you felt safe to bring this to me, and you know that no matter what happens, I care deeply about you.”

Depending on the topic, you may need to share your discomfort with what they bring up. “I’m feeling concerned because X” or “I am feeling like that might not be in your best interests to do Y. What else do you think could be a solution?” If you need to draw boundaries or set expectations, this is a key time to do so, while always doing so with the lens of care and upholding their independence, within the limits of health and safety.

Know that your new relationship is an ever-evolving journey

Your adolescent is going through new and unexpected changes every day. They are having new feelings and experiences that they could not have expected and don’t yet have the language to describe. Truly listening to your adolescent means that you must accept that as your relationship grows, and it may not be easy.

There will be times when, despite your best efforts to listen, your adolescent doesn’t have the language to tell you what’s going on. This may lead to arguments, discomfort, and frustration, but you should take heart in knowing that if you are willing to stay in it, to work toward your new relationship with your adolescent, no matter how difficult it may be, that it will blossom because of your deep listening and commitment.

Andrew Faulstich writes about radically transforming education through Montessori and learner-centered pedagogy to create a world that is more humane, equitable, and liberatory for all people.

As we head into our 46th year at Ghent Montessori School in Norfolk, Virginia, we look back and celebrate our incredible school community that is stronger than ever. We have supportive and committed families from many countries around the world who have come to GMS. We have an incredible staff with a shared vision. Our teachers have over 300 years of shared experience working with children, and our trained Montessori teachers have over 80 years of experience in Montessori education. We are inclusive and diverse, accepting children who have as many different learning styles and birth stories as there are children. We celebrate children as individuals and strive daily to meet their needs with joy and love. We are Ghent Montessori school, and we are proud of who we are!

Our History

Ghent Montessori School is the oldest Montessori School in the Hampton Roads (Virginia) area. GMS was founded by Sarah Frost in 1978 at First Lutheran Church in the Norfolk area of Ghent. In 1982, the first stage of our current building (610 Mowbray Arch) was built as part of the new community, Ghent Square. This location in downtown Norfolk, with the Chrysler Museum across the street on one side and the Harrison Opera House on the other, is crucial to the identity of the school today.

In 1994, Suzanne Pugin became Head of School and eventually purchased the school from Sarah and Larry Frost in 1996. In 2020, Ruland Gagne, a Hampton Roads native, took over as Head of School. She was a teacher in Lower and Upper Elementary at Ghent Montessori for 27 years. She holds an AMI Montessori degree, as well as a master’s degree in Early Childhood education. Ruland and Susan Colpitts together took over ownership in July 2021. Susan has a long history with the school; her husband, Norman, was an Upper Elementary teacher at the school, and they sent their three daughters to GMS in the early 2000s. Susan is currently the school’s business manager.

LOTS OF RENOVATING!

time, but we are not expanding. We are happy where we are and with this number of families. We will know them all and we take pride in this. Creating relationships and collaborating with our families to meet the needs of each child as an individual is important at GMS.

Embracing Transcience

The Hampton Roads area, which includes the Naval Station Norfolk, has one of the largest military populations in the world, with over 46,000 active-duty military. We embrace our military families, even though this can be seen as a challenge in a Montessori school, where we want families committed to Montessori for more than a few years. We believe that the children of our military families, who must move often, benefit from Montessori education. When so much in these children’s lives change with a move, it is nice for them to transfer to another Montessori school where their education will stay somewhat the same. We take the challenge and embrace it because it benefits these children.

Accreditation

Ghent Montessori has been accredited through the International Montessori Council (IMC) since 2015.

When Ruland took over as Head of School during the summer of Covid, she talked families of 75 children into staying. This 75 has grown in three years to 150 children with waitlists in most classes. In these three years, we have renovated the playground and the second floor to make room for another Lower Elementary classroom and a larger Upper Elementary. We also renovated our Toddler community, our Middle School, and the office. We also replaced windows, the roof, and all the flooring! This past summer, we added a top-notch security system. Currently, we have 150 children, 18 months through Middle School. We are committed to improving the school one year at a

International Montessori Council-accredited schools are committed to standards of exemplary integrity in their professional relationships with parents, students, faculty, and other Montessori schools. We have trained Montessori teachers (MACTE) in all our classes, and they are trained at the level they are teaching. We are proud of this accreditation and enjoy our relationship with IMC.

VISIT US!

We love our school and welcome you to visit if you are ever in the Hampton Roads area. Come see us at GMS. 

by Gavin McCormack

Love in Action: Small Gestures with a Big Impact

As parents, it’s easy to assume that our children know we love them. After all, we provide for their needs, cheer them on from the sidelines, and remind them to brush their teeth and do their homework. But love, while it may seem obvious to us, isn’t always as apparent to children as we think. In fact, research has consistently shown that when children feel genuinely and openly loved, it creates a ripple effect, shaping their confidence, resilience, and overall well-being.

So, how can we ensure our children not only hear our love but feel it deeply? And why is this so crucial to their development? Let’s explore the science and the simple, meaningful ways parents can demonstrate love in ways that matter most.

Love as the Foundation for Lifelong Success

Numerous studies highlight the transformative power of love on a child’s development. Children raised in an environment rich in affection, are more likely to become resilient, self-assured, and emotionally healthy adults.

Resilience and Emotional Strength: A child who feels loved is better equipped to handle challenges. They see failures as temporary and are more willing to persevere through adversity. Love provides them with a psychological safety net to take risks and learn from mistakes.

Confidence and Self-Worth: Parental love reinforces a child’s belief in their own value. Knowing they are cherished gives them the courage to explore the world, form meaningful relationships, and pursue their goals.

Mental and Physical Health: Love also has physiological benefits. According to the Harvard Centre on the Developing Child, loving relationships reduce stress hormones in children, leading to better brain development and longterm health.

Success and Achievement: A study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that children who feel loved and supported are more likely to excel academically and socially. The encouragement of a loving parent fuels a child’s motivation and sense of purpose.

The science is clear: love is not just a “nice-to-have.” It is essential. But how do we, as busy parents, juggling countless responsibilities, ensure we are expressing our love in ways our children truly feel?

10 Practical Ways to Show Love That Children Can Feel

Children thrive when they experience love in tangible and meaningful ways. Here are ten simple yet powerful ways to ensure your child feels cherished every day:

1. Show Physical Affection: Children crave physical closeness. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, and even a gentle hand on their shoulder can reassure them of your love. These small gestures speak volumes and create a sense of security.

2. Say It Out Loud: Never underestimate the power of saying, “I love you.” But don’t stop there. Verbal affirmations like, “I’m proud of you,” or “You’re so important to me,” nurture their self-esteem and remind them they are valued.

3. Listen with Intention: When your child speaks, give them your full attention. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and engage with their stories or concerns. Active listening makes them feel heard and understood.

4. Prioritize Quality Time: Whether it’s playing a board game, reading together, or simply talking about their day, dedicating undistracted time to your child strengthens your bond and communicates their importance in your life.

5. Celebrate Their Efforts: Recognize their achievements, no matter how small, and comfort them in their failures. Encouragement and support remind children that your love is not conditional on success but is unwavering.

6. Teach with Patience: Discipline is an opportunity to teach, not punish. When children know that guidance comes from love, they are more likely to learn and grow without fear or resentment.

7. Surprise Them: A little surprise can make your child’s day. Write a note for their lunchbox, make their favorite meal, or plan an unexpected outing. These acts of love leave lasting impressions.

8. Be Present: In our digital world, undivided attention is a precious gift. Put down the distractions, and show your child that they have your full focus. Being present is one of the most direct ways to show love.

9. Create Special Traditions: Family rituals, such as bedtime stories, Sunday pancakes, or a weekly game night give children something to look forward to and create cherished memories of love and togetherness.

10. Empathize with Their Feelings: Acknowledge and validate their emotions, whether they are happy, sad, or frustrated. Saying, “I understand why you feel this way,” helps them feel secure and supported.

Why Love Must Be Obvious

While we may believe that love is implied, children interpret the world differently. They thrive on explicit and consistent demonstrations of affection and care. Unlike adults, they cannot always infer love through actions like providing food or keeping a tidy home. They need tangible expressions of love to feel it in their hearts and minds.

When love is not obvious, children may misinterpret our busyness or distractedness as disinterest or even rejection. Over time, this can lead to feelings of insecurity or a lack of self-worth. By making love clear and abundant, we give our children the tools they need to flourish.

The Ripple Effect of Love

As parents, showing love is one of the simplest yet most profound gifts we can give our children. It sets the stage for their emotional and physical well-being, their success, and their capacity to form loving relationships of their own.

By taking small, intentional steps to demonstrate love daily, we lay a foundation for our children to grow into resilient, confident, and compassionate individuals. Love, after all, is not just the bond that connects us; it’s the force that shapes our future.

So today, take a moment to hug your child, tell them how proud you are, or simply listen to their stories. Let them know, in every way possible, just how much they mean to you. Because when children feel deeply loved, they truly have the world at their feet. 

Gavin McCormack is a Montessori teacher, former Montessori school principal, and the co-founder of Upschool.co, a global platform providing free educational courses for children and high quality training for teachers. With ten years of Montessori teaching experience and 25 years in total, Gavin is committed to fostering lifelong skills through purposeful, real-world learning.

Gavin has travelled the world to bring the best the planet has to offer to children everywhere. His educational expeditions have taken him to some of the most remarkable locations on Earth, including Mount Everest, Antarctica, Costa Rica, the Arctic Circle, Iceland, the Chitwan Jungle, and soon Greenland. In each of these places, along with the team at Upschool, he has filmed educational content, collaborated with local communities, and developed courses that connect children with the wonders of the natural world and the lessons it holds.

He has received multiple accolades, including a nomination for Australian of the Year and a ‘Best Contribution to Education’ award at the GESS Dubai Awards. He is an author of children’s books and a practical guide on Montessori education for parents. His TEDx talk and presentations at global conferences focus on the importance of hands-on, meaningful learning experiences. Through initiatives like the ‘Write a Book to Change the World’ course and global projects such as ‘The Wonderful World of Trees,’ Gavin empowers children to apply their knowledge to realworld challenges, fostering a sense of purpose and hope for the future.

by Gavin McCormack

Love in Action: Small Gestures with a Big Impact

As parents, it’s easy to assume that our children know we love them. After all, we provide for their needs, cheer them on from the sidelines, and remind them to brush their teeth and do their homework. But love, while it may seem obvious to us, isn’t always as apparent to children as we think. In fact, research has consistently shown that when children feel genuinely and openly loved, it creates a ripple effect, shaping their confidence, resilience, and overall well-being.

So, how can we ensure our children not only hear our love but feel it deeply? And why is this so crucial to their development? Let’s explore the science and the simple, meaningful ways parents can demonstrate love in ways that matter most.

Love as the Foundation for Lifelong Success

Numerous studies highlight the transformative power of love on a child’s development. Children raised in an environment rich in affection, are more likely to become resilient, self-assured, and emotionally healthy adults.

Resilience and Emotional Strength: A child who feels loved is better equipped to handle challenges. They see failures as temporary and are more willing to persevere through adversity. Love provides them with a psychological safety net to take risks and learn from mistakes.

Confidence and Self-Worth: Parental love reinforces a child’s belief in their own value. Knowing they are cherished gives them the courage to explore the world, form meaningful relationships, and pursue their goals.

Mental and Physical Health: Love also has physiological benefits. According to the Harvard Centre on the Developing Child, loving relationships reduce stress hormones in children, leading to better brain development and long-term health.

Success and Achievement—A study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that children who feel loved and supported are more likely to excel academically and socially. A loving parent’s encouragement fuels a child’s motivation and sense of purpose.

The science is clear: love is not just a “nice-to-have.” It is essential. But how do we, as busy parents, juggling countless responsibilities, ensure we are expressing our love in ways our children truly feel?

10 Practical Ways to Show Love That Children Can Feel

Children thrive when they experience love in tangible and meaningful ways. Here are ten simple yet powerful ways to ensure your child feels cherished every day:

1. Show Physical Affection: Children crave physical closeness. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, and even a gentle hand on their shoulder can reassure them of your love. These small gestures speak volumes and create a sense of security.

2. Say It Out Loud: Never underestimate the power of saying, “I love you.” But don’t stop there. Verbal affirmations like, “I’m proud of you,” or “You’re so important to me,” nurture their self-esteem and remind them they are valued.

3. Listen with Intention: When your child speaks, give them your full attention. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and engage with their stories or concerns. Active listening makes them feel heard and understood.

4. Prioritize Quality Time: Whether it’s playing a board game, reading together, or simply talking about their day, dedicating undistracted time to your child strengthens your bond and communicates their importance in your life.

5. Celebrate Their Efforts: Recognize their achievements, no matter how small, and comfort them in their failures. Encouragement and support remind children that your love is not conditional on success but is unwavering.

6. Teach with Patience: Discipline is an opportunity to teach, not punish. When children know that guidance comes from love, they are more likely to learn and grow without fear or resentment.

7. Surprise Them: A little surprise can make your child’s day. Write a note for their lunchbox, make their favorite meal, or plan an unexpected outing. These acts of love leave lasting impressions.

8. Be Present: In our digital world, undivided attention is a precious gift. Put down the distractions, and show your child that they have your full focus. Being present is one of the most direct ways to show love.

9. Create Special Traditions: Family rituals, such as bedtime stories, Sunday pancakes, or a weekly game night give children something to look forward to and create cherished memories of love and togetherness.

10. Empathize with Their Feelings: Acknowledge and validate their emotions, whether they are happy, sad, or frustrated. Saying, “I understand why you feel this way,” helps them feel secure and supported.

Why Love Must Be Obvious

While we may believe that love is implied, children interpret the world differently. They thrive on explicit and consistent demonstrations of affection and care. Unlike adults, they cannot always infer love through actions like providing food or keeping a tidy home. They need tangible expressions of love to feel it in their hearts and minds.

When love is not obvious, children may misinterpret our busyness or distractedness as disinterest or even rejection. Over time, this can lead to feelings of insecurity or a lack of self-worth. By making love clear and abundant, we give our children the tools they need to flourish.

The Ripple Effect of Love

As parents, showing love is one of the simplest yet most profound gifts we can give our children. It sets the stage for their emotional and physical well-being, their success, and their capacity to form loving relationships of their own.

By taking small, intentional steps to demonstrate love daily, we lay a foundation for our children to grow into resilient, confident, and compassionate individuals. Love, after all, is not just the bond that connects us; it’s the force that shapes our future.

So today, take a moment to hug your child, tell them how proud you are, or simply listen to their stories. Let them know, in every way possible, just how much they mean to you. Because when children feel deeply loved, they truly have the world at their feet. 

Gavin McCormack is a Montessori teacher, former Montessori school principal, and the co-founder of Upschool.co, a global platform providing free educational courses for children and high quality training for teachers. With ten years of Montessori teaching experience and 25 years in total, Gavin is committed to fostering lifelong skills through purposeful, real-world learning.

Gavin has travelled the world to bring the best the planet has to offer to children everywhere. His educational expeditions have taken him to some of the most remarkable locations on Earth, including Mount Everest, Antarctica, Costa Rica, the Arctic Circle, Iceland, the Chitwan Jungle, and soon Greenland. In each of these places, along with the team at Upschool, he has filmed educational content, collaborated with local communities, and developed courses that connect children with the wonders of the natural world and the lessons it holds.

He has received multiple accolades, including a nomination for Australian of the Year and a ‘Best Contribution to Education’ award at the GESS Dubai Awards. He is an author of children’s books and a practical guide on Montessori education for parents. His TEDx talk and presentations at global conferences focus on the importance of hands-on, meaningful learning experiences. Through initiatives like the ‘Write a Book to Change the World’ course and global projects such as ‘The Wonderful World of Trees,’ Gavin empowers children to apply their knowledge to realworld challenges, fostering a sense of purpose and hope for the future.

Love in Action: Small Gestures with a Big Impact

As parents, it’s easy to assume that our children know we love them. After all, we provide for their needs, cheer them on from the sidelines, and remind them to brush their teeth and do their homework. But love, while it may seem obvious to us, isn’t always as apparent to children as we think. In fact, research has consistently shown that when children feel genuinely and openly loved, it creates a ripple effect, shaping their confidence, resilience, and overall well-being.

So, how can we ensure our children not only hear our love but feel it deeply? And why is this so crucial to their development? Let’s explore the science and the simple, meaningful ways parents can demonstrate love in ways that matter most.

Love as the Foundation for Lifelong Success

Numerous studies highlight the transformative power of love on a child’s development. Children raised in an environment rich in affection, are more likely to become resilient, self-assured, and emotionally healthy adults.

Resilience and Emotional Strength: A child who feels loved is better equipped to handle challenges. They see failures as temporary and are more willing to persevere through adversity. Love provides them with a psychological safety net to take risks and learn from mistakes.

Confidence and Self-Worth: Parental love reinforces a child’s belief in their own value. Knowing they are cherished gives them the courage to explore the world, form meaningful relationships, and pursue their goals.

Mental and Physical Health: Love also has physiological benefits. According to the Harvard Centre on the Developing Child, loving relationships reduce stress hormones in children, leading to better brain development and longterm health.

Mental and Physical Health: Love also has physiological benefits. According to the Harvard Centre on the Developing Child, loving relationships reduce stress hormones in children, leading to better brain development and longterm health.

Success and Achievement: A study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that children who feel loved and supported are more likely to excel academically and socially. The encouragement of a loving parent fuels a child’s motivation and sense of purpose.

Why Love Must Be Obvious

While we may believe that love is implied, children interpret the world differently. They thrive on explicit and consistent demonstrations of affection and care. Unlike adults, they cannot always infer love through actions like providing food or keeping a tidy home. They need tangible expressions of love to feel it in their hearts and minds.

When love is not obvious, children may misinterpret our busyness or distractedness as disinterest or even rejection. Over time, this can lead to feelings of insecurity or a lack of self-worth. By making love clear and abundant, we give our children the tools they need to flourish.

The Ripple Effect of Love

As parents, showing love is one of the simplest yet most profound gifts we can give our children. It sets the stage for their emotional and physical well-being, their success, and their capacity to form loving relationships of their own.

By taking small, intentional steps to demonstrate love daily, we lay a foundation for our children to grow into resilient, confident, and compassionate individuals. Love, after all, is not just the bond that connects us; it’s the force that shapes our future.

So today, take a moment to hug your child, tell them how proud you are, or simply listen to their stories. Let them know, in every way possible, just how much they mean to you. Because when children feel deeply loved, they truly have the world at their feet. 

Gavin McCormack is a Montessori teacher, former Montessori school principal, and the co-founder of Upschool.co, a global platform providing free educational courses for children and high quality training for teachers. With ten years of Montessori teaching experience and 25 years in total, Gavin is committed to fostering lifelong skills through purposeful, real-world learning.

Gavin has travelled the world to bring the best the planet has to offer to children everywhere. His educational expeditions have taken him to some of the most remarkable locations on Earth, including Mount Everest, Antarctica, Costa Rica, the Arctic Circle, Iceland, the Chitwan Jungle, and soon Greenland. In each of these places, along with the team at Upschool, he has filmed educational content, collaborated with local communities, and developed courses that connect children with the wonders of the natural world and the lessons it holds.

He has received multiple accolades, including a nomination for Australian of the Year and a ‘Best Contribution to Education’ award at the GESS Dubai Awards. He is an author of children’s books and a practical guide on Montessori education for parents. His TEDx talk and presentations at global conferences focus on the importance of hands-on, meaningful learning experiences. Through initiatives like the ‘Write a Book to Change the World’ course and global projects such as ‘The Wonderful World of Trees,’ Gavin empowers children to apply their knowledge to realworld challenges, fostering a sense of purpose and hope for the future.

by Nicole Allsop, Registered Dietitian and Montessori Educator

In part 1, we discussed that the classroom environment involves shared experiences among children, families, and teachers, with health and well-being playing a crucial role. Early detection and collaboration between families and teachers can lead to significant benefits, and research-based evidence supports this connection and its consequences.

• Health and well-being are crucial for success in the classroom.

• Research-based evidence supports the strong relationship between health and education.

• High stress and sleep deprivation can lead to negative effects in the classroom, including irritability, focus loss, and low productivity.

• Lifestyle or non-communicable diseases are prevalent and can be minimized to improve functioning and stress management.

• Neuroscience is a key factor in learning, influenced by various health issues such as poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and weakened health.

• These health issues can lead to neuro disorders, mood disorders, non-communicable diseases, stress, and sleep deprivation.

Teaching children about daily exercise, eating nutritiously and sufficient and quality sleep helps them build wellness habits taking them through their lives and contributing to the management of lifetime stressors. Chronic stress has been well-documented with its negative effects on hippocampal structure and function and has been suggested to contribute to age-related declines. “A wide range of potential stressor from across the lifespan include: divorce; discrimination; illness; abuse; poverty; and more.. Exercise engagement would moderate the effects of stress.1 As you see, this also relates directly to the adults in the child’s environment.

Mental and emotional stress during adulthood is often downplayed. However, there are so many cases of this in daily lives. How can one really give of their best. Some people may talk about it, but then others have it bottled up inside. Without an outlet or rectification, explosion is possible along with severe implications later on in life. There is recent evidence showing the impact on chronic stress on the brain where “women exposed to serious stressors in middle age have an increased incidence of Alzheimer’s disease 20 years later. This study is consistent with others showing that distress may hasten dementia. Thus, stress exposure may increase risk of a variety of mental or cognitive disorders. 2

The following table is adapted from CDC – “How Much Sleep Do I Need? 3 They state that “…although the amount of sleep you get each day is important, other aspects of your sleep also contribute to your health and well-being. Good sleep quality is also essential. Signs of poor sleep quality include not feeling rested even after getting enough sleep, repeatedly waking up during the night, and experiencing symptoms of sleep disorders (such as snoring or gasping for air). Improving sleep quality may be helped by better sleep habits or being diagnosed and treated for any sleep disorder you may have.” use of over-the-counter medications or prescribed drugs can alter nutritional status.

Deficiencies in macro (and micro) nutrients, vitamins, and minerals will lead to neural defects. Toxic substances, medication, smoking and alcohol intake by the mother also negatively affects the brain of the foetus. The consequences of these are difficult to address in the classroom and would need the collaborative efforts of a healthcare

TABLE 2: RECOMMENDED DAILY SLEEP HOURS

Newborn 0–3 months 14–17 hours (National Sleep Foundation) No recommendation (American Academy of Sleep Medicine)

Infant 4–12 months 12–16 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

Toddler 1–2 years 11–14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

Preschool 3–5 years 10–13 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

School Age 6–12 years 9–12 hours per 24 hours

Teen 13–18 years 8–10 hours per 24 hours

Adult 18–60 years 7 or more hours per night 61–64 years 7–9 hours 65 years and older 7–8 hours

Brain development starts in the womb and is susceptible to all ills bestowed consciously and/or unconsciously by the parents; directly by the mother and indirectly by others and the environment. For example, “known causes of disorders of the corpus callosum include chromosomal defects that affect fetal brain development. Certain viral infections that a mother has while pregnant, exposure of the unborn baby to certain toxins (like alcohol) or medications.”4

Parent education within our environment will help bring awareness of the needs of children’s development through all stages from inception. The over use of alcohol for instance, in the home has negative consequences on children as they may also be exposed to abuse. Children in these environments will have mental and emotional challenges. There are also medications that can cause the body to leech or not absorb the nutrients it needs; thus, prolonged team from different medical specialties, inclusive of a Registered Dietitian, who is different from someone who is just a Nutritionist. The nutritional well-being of the child, stress management, and physical activities are also important to help in the process, as disruption in these will exacerbate the health status. “There is evidence that exercise affects several important and beneficial processes in the non-injured, as well as in the injured brain.”5

Check out the next issue for Part 3!

Nicole Allsop is a registered dietitian nutritionist, exercise professional, and Montessori educator. She is part of the NewGate community, and has a keen interest in building habits for a lifetime of wellness in families. She has authored books that can be purchased on The Montessori Library website: www.montessorilibrary.com

Reference

1. Head D, Singh T, Bugg JM. The moderating role of exercise on stress-related effects on the hippocampus and memory in later adulthood. Neuropsychology. 2012 Mar;26(2):133-43. doi: 10.1037/a0027108. Epub 2012 Jan 30. PMID: 22288406; PMCID: PMC3295922.

2. Arnsten, A. F. “Stress Weakens Prefrontal Networks: Molecular Insults to Higher Cognition.” Nature Neuroscience, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Oct. 2015, pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26404712/.

3. “CDC – How Much Sleep Do I Need? – Sleep and Sleep Disorders.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2 Mar. 2017, https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/?CDC_AAref_Val=

4. University of Rochester Medical Center Rochester, Department of Pediatrics, Golisano Children’s Hospital. “Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum.” Corpus Callosum – Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics – Golisano Children’s Hospital – University of Rochester Medical Center, https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/childrens-hospital/developmental-disabilities/conditions/ corpus-callosum

5. Martina Svensson, Jan Lexell. “Effects of Physical Exercise on Neuroinflammation, Neuroplasticity, Neurodegeneration, and Behavior: What We Can Learn From Animal Models in Clinical Settings – Martina Svensson, Jan Lexell, Tomas Deierborg, 2015.” SAGE Journals, 18 Aug. 2015, journals.sagepub.com/doi/ full/10.1177/1545968314562108.

by Lorna McGrath and Tim Seldin

Sarah Chen stood in her living room, staring at the catalog of Montessori materials spread across her coffee table. Her daughter Emma had just started at a local Montessori school, and Sarah was torn about whether to invest in some of the beautiful wooden materials she’d seen in Emma’s classroom. Like many parents, she wondered if having these materials at home would give her child an extra advantage.

This common parental impulse (to provide educational materials at home that mirror the school environment) comes from a good place. However, Montessori educators and experienced parents have found that the relationship between school and home learning can be more nuanced than it might first appear.

“When parents ask us about purchasing Montessori materials for home use, we often encourage them to pause and reflect,” says Maria Torres, a Montessori guide with 15 years of experience. “The magic of these materials in the classroom setting comes partly from their novelty and the way they’re presented. When children have unlimited access to them at home, it can actually diminish their special appeal in the classroom.”

This doesn’t mean your home can’t support your child’s Montessori education, quite the opposite! The key lies in understanding the deeper principles of the Montessori approach and finding creative ways to apply them in your home environment without duplicating the classroom experience.

Consider the kitchen, for instance. Rather than purchasing specialized Montessori practical life materials, you might create a designated space where your child can independently access appropriately sized tools for food preparation. A low drawer with child-sized implements allows children to make their own snacks, pour their own drinks, and help with meal preparation. Likewise, set up the lowest shelf in the refrigerator to hold wholesome snacks and drinks that they can prepare. This approach not only develops the same skills as classroom materials but does so in a real-world context that children find deeply satisfying.

The same principle applies to other areas of development. Instead of investing in the iconic Pink Tower or Brown Stairs, parents can create rich sensorial experiences through everyday activities. Elizabeth Morgan, a parent of two Montessori students, discovered this organically. “We started taking nature walks and collecting objects of different sizes, weights, and textures,” she explains. “My children became fascinated with comparing pinecones, sorting rocks, and creating their own classification systems. It dawned on us that this was Montessori thinking in action, without any specialized materials.”

The same principle applies to other areas of development. Instead of investing in the iconic Pink Tower or Brown Stairs, parents can create rich sensorial experiences through everyday activities. Elizabeth Morgan, a parent of two Montessori students, discovered this organically. “We started taking nature walks and collecting objects of different sizes, weights, and textures,” she explains. “My children became fascinated with comparing pinecones, sorting rocks, and creating their own classification systems. It dawned on us that this was Montessori thinking in action, without any specialized materials.”

Language development provides another opportunity for organic learning at home. While Montessori

classrooms use specific materials, such as Sandpaper Letters and a Movable Alphabet, home language experiences can be woven naturally throughout the day. Rich conversations during meals, storytelling at bedtime, and casual writing opportunities, such as helping to make shopping lists, all support literacy development without requiring specialized materials.

When it comes to mathematics, daily life offers countless opportunities for mathematical thinking. Counting stairs as you climb them, measuring ingredients while cooking, or sorting laundry all develop mathematical understanding in meaningful ways. These real-life applications often prove more valuable than having formal mathematical materials at home.

There are, however, times when purchasing specific Montessori materials might make sense. Your child’s teacher might recommend particular materials to support specific learning needs, or you might want certain items for extended breaks from school. In these cases, the key is to communicate openly with your child’s guide about what would be most beneficial.

Some parents have found creative middle-ground solutions. The Wilson family, for instance, created a rotating selection of seasonal materials that complement, rather than duplicate, classroom work. During summer, they might bring out materials for nature study and gardening. In winter, they focus on Practical Life skills, such as food preparation and craft work. This approach keeps activities fresh and engaging while supporting their children’s development.

The most successful home environments typically

focus on creating opportunities for independence, concentration, and Practical Life skills rather than academic materials. A thoughtfully prepared space might include a designated area for artistic expression, easily accessible shelves for books and activities, and child-sized furniture that allows for autonomous movement and work.

As Sarah Chen eventually discovered, creating a supportive home environment had less to do with purchasing specific materials and more to do with applying Montessori principles in daily life. “Once we shifted our focus from materials to opportunities,” she reflects, “we started seeing possibilities everywhere. Our home became a place where learning happened naturally, through living.”

As Sarah Chen eventually discovered, creating a supportive home environment had less to do with purchasing specific materials and more to do with applying Montessori principles in daily life. “Once we shifted our focus from materials to opportunities,” she reflects, “we started seeing possibilities everywhere. Our home became a place where learning happened naturally, through living.”

This approach not only supports children’s development but also maintains the special relationship they have with their classroom environment. After all, the goal isn’t to recreate school at home but to create a complementary space where children can continue to grow and develop in their own unique way.

The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity and authenticity. By focusing on real-life experiences and genuine opportunities for independence, parents can create an environment that genuinely supports their child’s Montessori education. No specialized materials required! 

Lorna McGrath is a Montessori teacher educator, conference presenter, and Montessori consultant. Lorna has 41 years of experience in the field of education, teaching children from 18 months through 6 years old, and from 12 through 18 years old in both public schools and independent Montessori schools.