Dear Cathie | Montessori Foundation | Montessori Family Alliance

Dear Cathie: Building Concentration and Focus

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, MFA, TC May 2024

DEAR CATHIE—

WE THINK IT IS TIME FOR OUR CHILD TO EXPERIENCE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES IN ADDITION TO MONTESSORI SCHOOL. WE THINK HE IS READY FOR SOME EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES. WHILE WE KNOW THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE OVERSCHEDULED, WE DO WANT OUR CHILD TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL THAT OUR AMAZING COMMUNITY HAS TO OFFER. HOW DO WE BALANCE THIS?

— A SERIOUS PARENT

Dear Parents,

You are right on target, and we applaud your conscientious approach to this complicated subject. The rule of thumb is to follow your child interests and seek to broaden their experiences until they are old enough to have found their passion. The purpose of extracurricular activities for young children is to try new things, develop new skills, and have opportunities to take direction from another adult besides parents and teachers at school.

We recommend that young children experience extracurriculars in small segments for the purpose of just trying them out. These are usually offered in areas such as sports, dance, drama, art, etc. Seek classes that are in short sections such as 8 weeks or a week-long summer program. The purpose of these of classes is to expose children to the activity or skill. These short introductions help parent and child determine interest, without overtaxing the child or family’s resources. These classes focus on the basics. It may be possible to engage your child in a summer camp that encompasses a number of different sports or types of dance at a single location. From there it is possible to decide where to focus your child and family’s resources in the years ahead.

Many towns have recreation sports leagues as well as travel leagues that require children to try out for a place on the team. However, your child may enjoy being a part of the experience at any level. Additionally, sometimes activities are offered as single day camps during days off from school. These may include computer skills, 3-D printing, cooking classes, etc. These one-day activities can help you widen a child’s awareness of the myriad of activities available to pursue.

As children mature, they begin to narrow their focus and gravitate toward some extracurricular activities more than others. Many begin to show an affinity for a particular activity such as scouting, a specific sport, a type of musical instrument, a dance class, etc. Now is the time to zone into one (or a few) of these areas and begin to focus your child’s after school time. You may eventually decide that private music or dance classes are for your child. Maybe your child is committed to soccer and is attending practice twice a week and playing a game once a week as well. Each of these comes with a time and financial commitment on your part, and that needs to be figured into the equation. Be sure to involve your child in the decision and not simply decide for them.

As you are making these decisions, remember to program in some free time for your child to have time outdoors to play, create, and spend unstructured time with friends. This is an important part of your child’s development as well. 

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, Elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials. For over three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers (available through montessori.org).

She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines. Cathie holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education, with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

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Dear Cathie: Building Concentration at Home

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, MFA, TC February 2024

DEAR CATHIE—

WE ARE SENDING OUR CHILD TO A MONTESSORI SCHOOL TO LEARN HOW TO CONCENTRATE, AMONG OTHER THINGS. WE ALSO WANT TO ENCOURAGE HER TO CONCENTRATE AND FOCUS AT HOME. WE SEE IT IN SCHOOL MUCH MORE THAN WE DO AT HOME. ANY ADVICE TO HELP US WORK ON THIS IMPORTANT SKILL? — SOMEWHAT FRAZZLED PARENTS

It is not unusual for the school day to get the best part of your child’s concentration. That is when they are at their freshest, most rested, and are often putting their best selves forward. When they return home after a full (or even a partial) day at school, they have mostly used up their focus energy and have little left to give. Educators and psychologists say that this is often when children show their worst behavior, as it is safe to let their guard down in the place of unconditional love.

You can indeed foster concentration at home through both your home environment and when you interact with your child through your shared experiences. Within your home, be sure there is a quiet place for your child to play that minimizes noise or distractions. This can be as simple as a mat or a small table and chairs away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the family. Obviously, if your child is very young, you need to be sure you can see them to ensure their safety. Be certain that a group of activities are available to your child so that they can make individual choices without you.

Concentration develops when a child gets “lost in play” or is deeply engrossed in an activity of their own choosing. While it is positive to introduce your child to something new and offer new experiences, avoid doing so, as this can break their concentration on an activity previously chosen. It is constructive to offer suggestions as to the activities you place in their space and what you offer to them. Rotate those activities regularly as their interests and developmental level constantly are in flux. Be sure favorite activities are always available and maybe something new and interesting for a holiday or birthday. Talk to your child about what activity is calling to them now. New books, activity kits, and building materials can be part of the ongoing family discussion and can enter their space.

It is also appropriate to model concentration for your child by having them see you focused on tasks they can understand and to which they can relate. You can participate in shared experiences with your child that encourages concentration. Activities like peeling an entire potato, rolling, and cutting out cookies with a cookie cutter, making meatballs or emptying all the garbage cans in all of the rooms in your home build both motor skills and concentration, as well as helping your child contribute to the family. These activities also work on many other executive functioning skills that are important for all aspects of a successful school career and a successful life.

Concentration builds over time. Toddlers, Primary, Lower Elementary, and Secondary students will have ever-increasing concentration spans. Nevertheless, we can encourage through modeling ourselves, offering conducive spaces, and sharing experiences that require concentration (both new and repeated) that build concentration.

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, Elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials.

For over three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers (available through montessori.org). She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

Cathie holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education, with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

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Dear Cathie: Family Traditions

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, MFA, TC December 2023

DEAR CATHIE—

WE ARE THINKING ABOUT THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS AND HOW AND WHEN TO BRING OUR CHILD INTO OUR FAMILY’S TRADITIONS. SOMETIMES, IT FEELS TOTALLY OVERWHELMING, AND MAYBE IT IS JUST TOO SOON TO THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL. WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN, AND WHAT KINDS OF ACTIVITIES SHOULD WE BE THINKING ABOUT?

— A YOUNG FAMILY

Dear Young Family,

It is never too soon to begin creating intentional traditions or just living and sharing the seasons and the holidays and letting your repeated experiences grow into family traditions. The truth is, often, anything a family does twice is considered to be a tradition by children. As you enjoy celebrating the changing seasons or the holidays, it is natural to want to share that with your children and involve them in your joy. Your enthusiasm will be contagious, whether picking apples, carving pumpkins, planning Thanksgiving meals, putting out decorations, going to an Autumn fest, or walking in nature to appreciate the colorful leaves or flowers. Sharing them with young children sets the stage for future experiences — building memories extending into middle childhood, adolescence, and beyond. Shared experiences make strong families. And children will look forward to traditions.

Aim for yearly traditions spanning each season of the year. Traditions can revolve around nature, planting and harvesting, food and food preparation, and trips to the zoo, park, pumpkin patch, nature trails, or farmer’s market. They can also involve preparation of the home, such as decorating for a season, weeding out your clothes or toys as the children grow, or sharing sports experiences, either as spectators or as participants: skiing, snowboarding, skating, hiking, beach time, etc. Philanthropic projects can also be a part of holiday traditions that can grow with the family as the children’s ability to participate increases.

Any type or level of holiday tradition should be upbeat and fun; these activities will help build a strong family. Enjoy any holidays you may celebrate, especially the time you spend with each other. 

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, Elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials for Primary and Elementary students. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

For more than three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers published by the Montessori Foundation (available through montessori.org.) She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

Cathie holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education, with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. She is married and has two adult children and two adorable granddaughters.

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Dear Cathie: Attributes of Montessori Children

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, MFA, TC September 2023

DEAR CATHIE—

WE HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH BEDTIME AND GETTING OUR CHILD TO SLEEP EVER SINCE HE WAS BORN. EXHAUSTION IS JUST A MATTER OR COURSE IN OUR FAMILY. IT IS SO HARD TO GET OUR CHILD TO GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT ME OR HIS OTHER PARENT SPENDING HOURS WITH HIM AND RUSHING TO HIS SIDE IF HE WAKES DURING THE NIGHT. AS HE GETS OLDER AND GOES TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, WE WOULD REALLY LIKE TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND TEACH OUR CHILD TO SLEEP SO THAT WE, AS PARENTS, CAN HAVE SOME TIME TOGETHER ONCE AGAIN.

— A WEARY SET OF PARENTS

Dear Parents,

Thank you for reaching out with this difficult yet common challenge. I am happy to recommend Dr. Lynelle Schneeberg’s book, Become Your Child’s Sleep Coach, as my favorite resource. Her book is clear, readable, and practical. And while I will share a few highlights, I highly recommend you read the entire book, which focuses on sleep challenges for families with children ages 3-10. She recommends developing a fairly simple routine around bedtime that is consistent for all caregivers. Some children have a variety of adults in their lives, who are involved in their bedtime routine, and it is critical that all follow the same bedtime routine.

Prepare the Child’s Room

The author recommends creating a sleeping environment that allows the child to put themselves to sleep independently. This environment will look the same when the child wakes up in the middle of the night so they can put themselves back to sleep easily. Remove all electronics, pets, and anything that turns off later from the child’s room, such as a white noise machine. (A white noise machine that stays on all night is fine.) The routine is clear, consistent and streamlined.

Add to the child’s room:

a single bedtime buddy (lovey)
a bedtime basket (filled with books and other non-electronic things to do in bed while the child is becoming drowsy)
3 ‘bedtime tickets’ (These can be used for a trip out of bed if necessary. If they are not used, they can be cashed in for a prize the next morning. The number will decrease over time.)
a reading light
a nightlight

Create a Clear 5-Step Bedtime Routine

The actual bedtime routine is simple and routine.

bedtime bite (encourage a healthy snack including complex carbohydrates eaten only in the kitchen.)
bath or wash-up time and a change into pajamas
brushing teeth
bathroom (provide one last time to go to the bathroom)
books (read in bed with your child and their bedtime buddy. Set a timer for the end of this time or a number of books/ chapters you will read.)

Create a visual chart for this 5-step routine so they are clear to your child. There is a chart to copy in the book.

Once all the steps of the routine are complete, your child is ready to fall asleep on their own. They may look at books or do other activities from their bedtime basket until they are drowsy. They may need a parent to stay near them, but do not interact with them as they transition to this step. The child may get up to go to the bathroom, but each time they get up it costs them a bedtime ticket. Be matter of fact, and do not interact with your child during this time.

Your goal is for the child to learn to fall asleep alone after completing the bedtime routine. Dr. Schneeberg speaks about making the things necessary to sleep simple, such as those they would take to summer camp.

Remember that this process may take a few weeks to master.

Dr. Schneeberg provides more clarification and detailed explanations in her book and discusses special contingencies. She also shares case studies from her work with families and children or all ages. I am confident it will be helpful to you.

Best of luck helping your child learn to sleep alone.

Warmly, Cathie

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, Elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials for Primary and Elementary students. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

For more than three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers published by the Montessori Foundation (available through montessori.org.) She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

Cathie Perolman holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education, with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. She is married and has two adult children and two adorable granddaughters. Cathie lives in Ellicott City, Maryland with her husband.

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Attributes of Montessori Children

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, Emotionally Healthy Children, MFA, TC February 2023

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DEAR CATHIE: The Silence Game

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, MFA, TC November 2022

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Dear Cathie: First Days at School: Morning Routines

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, TC September 2022

First Days at School: Morning Routines

DEAR CATHIE— WE WILL BE ATTENDING OUR LOCAL MONTESSORI SCHOOL BEGINNING NEXT FALL, AND WE HAVE BEEN READING ABOUT THE SCHOOL AND THE MONTESSORI METHOD. THIS WILL BE OUR CHILD’S FIRST TIME TO BE SOMEPLACE OTHER THAN HOME ON A DAILY SCHEDULE. WE KNOW THAT TIME SCHEDULING IS NOT EASY FOR CHILDREN. WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP MAKE THE MORNING ROUTINE WORK EFFICIENTLY AND YET NOT FEEL RUSHED? WE HAVE HEARD FROM OTHER PARENTS THAT THIS CAN BE QUITE STRESSFUL! — AN ALREADY STRESSED PARENT

Dear Parent,

This is an exciting time in your family’s life as you get ready for your child to start school. There are many things you can do to make the morning as smooth as possible, and they all begin with a calm, smooth, and predictable daily routine.

Consider which tasks you might do in the evening versus what you might need to do in the morning. Think about which time frame might be less hectic for you and your family. Consider things, such as picking out clothes; packing lunches; packing your child’s backpack; finding tomorrow’s footwear; etc.

Now think through the details of the tasks. Where will you take care of the morning bathroom business? Will you bathe in the morning or evening? If you take baths in the evening, will you eat breakfast in pajamas and then change into school clothes or get totally dressed for school and then eat breakfast? When will you pack the backpack? Perhaps you have the backpack ready and by the door in the morning, as well as the child’s shoes so you don’t need to look for these items as you are getting ready; if ready the evening before, all that is necessary is to add the child’s filled water bottle and lunchbox to the backpack and, viola, you are done. Let your child be aware of what

will be coming and make it more or less the same every day. We encourage children to be involved in all the process as much as they are able. When choosing clothes, choosing between two outfits works well. If picking out clothes is challenging, then perhaps that can be done after dinner the night before, so this is an already completed task in the morning. Let him help with packing his backpack, choosing what he will eat for lunch, etc. Keep the possibility of his helping at the forefront of your mind as you go through the process. (If he needs clean socks for school, can he get them from the drawer and put them in his backpack?)

When you return home in the evening is another time to work with your child to begin preparing for the next day. Let your child assist with unpacking his backpack and taking care of items that need to be dealt with, such as washing his water bottle; cleaning his lunch box; putting laundry where it belongs; etc. Adding these tasks to your afternoon routine ensures you will be aware of what your child needs for school the following day or other school notifications. It also encourages your child to become a partner in these responsibilities and encourages him to chat about his day. It is just one more way of keeping the lines of communication open.

Of course, school information comes out electronically, as well, these days, but this is still a good way to stay organized and involve your child.

As with all aspects of child rearing, flexibility is paramount as routines will naturally ebb and flow. Your family’s situation may change, or you may decide what you are doing is just not working! Parental workplace demands may cause a shift in routine, and children may assume some of the responsibilities as they mature.

Your best family routine will evolve with time. Make a conscious plan and carefully think through the division of your morning, afterschool, and evening tasks. Keep your routine as consistent as is reasonable and involve your child in as many aspects of the process as is developmentally appropriate. Build in a bit or extra time so your morning does not feel rushed! Good Luck! •

Here is an example of a family’s daily, school-year routine.

MORNING

• breakfast

• brush teeth

• get dressed

• fill water bottle

• pack lunch

• put on shoes

AFTER SCHOOL

• unpack backpack

• wash water bottle

• clean lunchbox

• put laundry where it belongs

• replace any clothing/bedding needed for the next day

EVENING

• pack backpack

• pick out clothes for tomorrow together

• bath time

• brush teeth

• read stories

• child goes to bed

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials for Primary and Elementary students. Checkout her new downloadable materials on her websitecathieperolman.com.

For more than three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers published by the Montessori Foundation(available through montessori.org.) She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

Cathie Perolman holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. She is married and has two adult children and two adorable granddaughters. Cathie lives in Ellicott City, Maryland with her husband.

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DEAR CATHIE: A CONCERNED PARENT

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, Family Resources, Lower Elementary (6-9), MFA, Montessori Education, Montessori Family Life, Montessori Parenting, Montessori students, Montessori Teachers, Primary (3-6), Tomorrow's Child, Tomorrow's Child Online Issue, Upper Elementary (9-12)

DEAR CATHIE—

I have visited a number of Montessori schools as we consider a placement for our 3 and 4 year old children next year. I see the children all busy on different projects, and it all looks great. But can it really work? How can one teacher, even with an assistant, really keep track of who did what and be sure that each child is progressing and getting what she or he needs? All those children—all those needs. I can see it more for younger children, but I really get concerned in the Elementary grades. Does this method really work?

— A CONCERNED PARENT

Dear Concerned Parent,

I am so glad you are looking at Montessori schools for your children and that you have started the search so early. Many schools have rolling admissions and are open to admission at times other than the start of the school year or semester.

The Montessori Method works, as it is truly an individualized approach to education. Each child spends his or her school days in a carefully prepared environment with a group of multi-aged learners and a guide. A child chooses activities that call to her from within that environment while her guide watches her interests and offers lessons. From there, she develops a set of skills upon which to build. She practices the lessons she has learned and asks for new lessons as soon as those are comfortably mastered.

Children in the Montessori prepared environment also have the opportunity to watch others work and are often enticed by the work of those older children, aspiring to do what they do. This leads to more and more advanced work within the classroom as a whole and by your child individually. No child needs to wait for another child to have mastered a skill to move on! She has a new lesson as soon as she is able. Children also assist others younger than themselves, often teaching lessons they have already mastered. The child teaching lessons is one of the best ways to ensure mastery and confidence about something they have learned. It also leads to a kind and caring community.

Children have a say in what parts of the curriculum with which they engage and when they do so—always with awareness and support from the guide and other adults in the room.

Guides spend time observing the class to see which children are working at the mastery level on certain skills and are ready for a new lesson, which children need re-presentation, and which children need social

encouragement. They carefully chart these observations on paper or on the many computer programs that are now available and used in schools. While the classroom may look free flowing and easy going, it is actually a skill and data-driven environment, even though students do follow their own interests and work on projects and activities of their choosing. Their connection with their guide—often for three

years—enhances this relationship and connection and allows for learning to happen more easily from year to year. They offer carefully timed lessons to children as they are ready. These lessons are often one on one, but can be executed with the whole class or small groups. It is often hard to find the guide in the classroom as she is working with only a few children at a time.

In answer to your question, yes, the Method can and does work!

Children have a say in what parts of the curriculum with which they engage and when they do so— always with awareness and support from the guide and other adults in the room. Children learn initiative, self-control, and discipline while mastering basic skills. This method truly parallels the expectations and skills needed as a child grows and faces more adult challenges.

Enjoy your journey looking at schools! Montessori schools truly are unparalleled! •

Cathie Perolmanis a reading specialist, elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials for primary and elementary students. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

For more than three decades she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters.

She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6Teachers and Homeschoolers published by the Montessori Foundation (available throughmontessori.org.) She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

Cathie Perolman holds a BS in Early Childhood Education and a MEd in Elementary Education with a concentration in reading. She is credentialed as a Montessori teacher. She is married and has two adult children and two adorable granddaughters. Cathie lives in Ellicott City, Maryland with her husband.

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Dear Cathie: How can I guide my children to help around the house?

by Cathie Perolman | Dear Cathie, Family Resources, Finances, MFA, Montessori Education, Montessori Family Life, Montessori Parenting, TC November 2021

DEAR CATHIE—

I have always done everything for my children. I just thought that is what good parents did! I thought it showed my love. But now that they are growing up, and I am learning more about the Montessori Method from their school and my reading, I understand that I need to expect more from them and let them help around the house. This is both a practical and a mindset change! Can you help me get started?

—AN EXCITED MOM

Dear Mom,

Congratulations on making the decision to afford your children more responsibility, and opportunities to contribute to the family. This is a key concept in happy and healthy families, and you cannot start too young. The key is to begin small, teach each skill to your children, and then have consistent expectations that the job has become their responsibility and is no longer yours. Let it happen naturally, as the child has the skills to take on a task!

Let’s choose one activity to use as an example: bath time. Your goal is for your child to learn to take a bath independently: from getting pajamas to leaving the bathroom as he found it. This is a process that will take years to learn, and we certainly are not advocating that you leave your child alone in a tub of water until he is mature enough to be safe.

Taking a bath requires a child to do a series of steps that will complete the goal. The child needs to: get pajamas and bring them into the bathroom; turn on the bath water at the correct temperature; undress; get in the bath; turn off the water, when the bath reaches the correct height/ temperature: wash the body; rinse off the soap; wash hair, if needed; rinse hair; get out of the bath; dry off; put on pajamas; let the water out of the tub; dry any spills; hang the towel; and put the dirty clothes in the hamper.

How can we begin to teach a child all those steps? Begin today to turn over one step at a time to the child. Do not do anything for your child that she can do herself.

Be sure your child can find her pajamas in the same place each night. (I always put them under the child’s pillow, and my children wore the same pair of pajamas until they were dirty. This saved on laundry and made life simpler for our family.) Say to your child, “Now that you are getting older, you are ready to start learning how to take your own bath. Please get your pajamas and bring them into the bathroom and then come and get me.” That is now a task for the child every night! You will need to be sure it is done, but you will never do it for her again.

You can turn on the water until she is old enough to do it herself. You can place a mark on the chrome that shows how far to turn the handle on the faucet. (A permanent marker works well.) This is especially important, if the turning the water on also controls the water temperature! Be there while the child does it for as long as it takes for you to be certain that she can manage it herself. This is one of the more difficult steps in the process, and you will need to be involved in it longer.

Teach your child how to wash. How does the soap get onto the washcloth? You may need to do that part, but they can do the actual washing. First you will be there while she is washing, watching to be sure she is doing it correctly. In time, you will come back and check and “help” to do the difficult parts.

The key is to begin small, teach each skill to your children, and then have consistent expectations that the job has become their responsibility and is no longer yours.

Washing hair is one part I helped with for many years. I checked to be sure the hair had all the soap removed. Eventually, she will wash her entire body herself! Even a very young child can rinse off alone. You may need to talk her through the process, check and be sure she rinsed all the spots and gotten all the soap off (especially in the folds of the skin), but you do not need to do it for her.

Once the child is rinsed, she can open the drain to let the water out of the tub. She can get out of the tub and begin to dry off. (Be sure to teach her to “hold on” as she exits the tub — as wet is often slippery.) You can come and help as needed. (I always said I needed a hug when they were in the towel, and I checked that my child was dry before putting on her pajamas). Dressing is a skill that children begin to learn as early as 18 months. By four, this is totally the child’s responsibility.

Drying the bathroom may require you to point out areas of water. Some people prefer to do this before the child is in pajamas, as she may get wet doing it! Children can hang up the towel if the hook is at an appropriate height for them. Hooks are now easy to buy and can be moved as the child grows!

A child as young as 18 months can learn to put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and that is an easy job to turn over to the child immediately.

When you are beginning to teach a series of skills, discuss the sequence of steps in the process with your child. What comes next? Can you do that part yourself? Always talk to your child about how she will be able to do this part in a few months/years This sets the tone that you know/expect that your child will ultimately be a self-sufficient person.

You can apply the same principles to any task. Let your child carry the laundry downstairs; put the toilet paper in the closet, and later onto the toilet paper holder, or put the vegetables in the veggie drawer when you come home with groceries. A child of three can even put three carrots in each small plastic container for lunch. Then, when packing lunch for himself, he simply removes a container.

Have fun letting your children take on more and more responsibility and let us know how it is going! ¢

Cathie Perolman is a reading specialist, elementary educator, author, consultant, and creator of educational materials for primary and elementary students. Check out her new downloadable materials on her website cathieperolman.com.

For more than three decades, she has dedicated her energies to improving reading for all youngsters. She is the author of Practical Special Needs for the Montessori Method: A Handbook for 3-6 Teachers and Homeschoolers published by the Montessori Foundation (available through montessori.org.) She is a regular contributor to Tomorrow’s Child and Montessori Leadership magazines.

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