Part I: Your Rookie Year as a Montessori Family (0-6 Years Old)
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
Book Review – Flower Garden

Flower Garden
Written by Eve Bunting Illustrated by Kathryn Hewitt
Another book by Eve Bunting! This talented woman has written many books for children from two years old to teenagers, in all different settings, and in varied real-life situations. She doesn’t try to hide the truth or to tip toe around uncomfortable topics. Her stories have heart and sometimes raw emotion. The illustrations in her books are usually quite realistic and enhance her words beautifully. Her books raise her readers’ social consciousness – sometimes subtly and sometimes flat out!
Flower Garden is the story of a dad and his daughter putting together a beautiful surprise for his wife and her mother’s birthday. It’s set in a city where they live several stories up in an apartment building. They ride public transportation to and from the grocery store, where they buy plants, a window box, and cake and ice cream.
Mom isn’t home, so they can quickly plant the flowers in the window box before she arrives. She is surprised and happy when she gets home!
In this book the words rhyme. Young children love rhyming! In this book, the reader may not be aware that they are learning about people of different races, or they may recognize themselves in the characters. It is a beautiful book that young children will enjoy over and over again at home or in school.
Reviewed by Lorna McGrath
Book Review – Hold This!

Hold This!
As a dad and his young daughter, Mika, take a walk through the woods, Mika finds so many treasures that she wants to keep and take home. She finds a stick and a frog and some water and leaves and a sparkling stone and more. Mika wants her dad to put these items in his backpack or pockets, but he reminds her several times that she is a “big girl” and can carry her own treasures. At the end, Mika asks once more, “I know I’m a big girl, but…will you hold this?” as she reaches her hand up to him.
Written by Carolyn Cory Scoppettone Illustrated by Priscilla Alpaugh
Children love to collect things in nature. We often encourage them to leave them there or to carry the treasures themselves. Really, the very best part of a walk-in nature is the time spent together. Children two to six years old will enjoy this book.
Reviewed by Lorna McGrath
10 Ways to Prepare for Summer
10 Ways to Prepare for Summer
by Cheryl Allen & Lorna McGrath
1. Maintain a routine–getting up at a similar time each day, eating at regular times, keeping enough routine to keep your child comfortable. This is important for all ages. It gives them a sense of stability. It is especially important in early childhood, as these children are especially sensitive to order and consistency.
2. Keep up your family meeting schedule. Remember that family meetings provide opportunities for everyone to have a voice, be a leader, and take part in shaping the summer. If you have visitors, invite them to join your meeting.
3. Create and discuss family expectations for behavior at home, out on the town, and when traveling. These are great topics for family meetings as you prepare for summer.
4. Find out what each family member is hoping for from the summer and see if you can meet each family member’s goal. This is another topic for a family meeting. Remember to break down preparation topics into manageable pieces so that you don’t feel as if everything has to be covered in one meeting.
5. If possible, schedule only one or two activities or camps in the summer to provide consistency. Also, if these activities or camps can be chosen with your family values about respectful interactions among participants and adults in mind, the experience will probably be more enjoyable and productive for your child.
6. Let your child know about plans for the day and what may be required ahead of time so your child can plan. Even though you will share with each other at your family meetings what’s up for the week, it is important to look at each day in more detail as the day begins.
7. Allow for relaxation time each day, especially if you are traveling or have visitors. As always, we suggest that consciously planning for downtime is as important as planning for activities.
8. Encourage time for practical life activities–gardening, cooking, and cleaning. Practical life activities bring us back to our family community, interacting together, doing meaningful work, and learning to use math and science in our everyday lives.
9. If you don’t already have this, develop a quieting space for each family member. Creating “quieting spaces” for each family member involves multiple family meetings, so start planning them now. As school comes to an end, consider quieting spaces for summer travels.
10. Plan your schedule so that you’re home in time to prepare for the new school year. We always think that summer will last forever, but before we know it, it’s time to go back to school. It’s helpful to the whole family to get back into a home routine at least a week before school starts. •
Cheryl Allen is the Associate Coordinator of the MontessoriFamily Alliance and is also a parenting educator and a Montessori consultant with the MontessoriFoundation. Cheryl attended Montessori school as a child. After some time as a traditional Secondary teacher, she worked in Montessori classrooms, 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12, earning certifications from both AMS (3-6and 6-9) and IMC (6-12). She is a teacher educator, workshop presenter, and member of IMC accreditation teams. Cheryl’s two children attended Montessori from age two through high school graduation.
Lorna McGrath, MEd, is Director of IMC School Accreditation, Program Director of the MontessoriFamily Alliance, and Senior Consultant of The Montessori Foundation. Lorna has 41 years of experience in the field of education, teaching children from 18 months through 6 years old and from 12 through 18 years old in both public schools and independent Montessori schools. Lorna is a Montessori teacher educator, conference presenter, and school consultant. She can be reached at lornamcgrath@montessori.org
Beyond Bribes, Rewards, and Punishments

Beyond Rewards, Bribes, & Punishment
A Montessori Approach to Building Intrinsic Motivation
42 ways that the Montessori approach builds intrinsic discipline in our children.
by Simone Davies
In my last article on a Montessori approach to discipline, I mentioned that we don’t use rewards, bribes, or punishment in a Montessori classroom. And there is not a teacher at the front telling everyone what they need to do. Yet, if you observe in a Montessori classroom, there is a gentle hum of conversation and movement and a lot of concentrated children who are motivated to work.
So, not surprisingly, I received many questions about a Montessori approach to building intrinsic motivation in the child. Intrinsic motivation is doing something because you have the inner drive to do it, not because of some external reason like a reward or threat.
I love a good list so here are 42 ways that the Montessori approach builds intrinsic discipline in our children.
Note: It’s a holistic approach where each part is intrinsically linked. So, while it may seem overwhelming to do all these things, rest assured they also naturally build on one another.
42 Ways to Build Intrinsic Motivation
1. Build an environment where they can have success; knowing where they can find things and having things at their level.
2. Create opportunities for them to build independence – they see themselves as capable.
3. Cultivate opportunities to work together, cooperate and care for others – they see their input matters; a 0-3 child is observing and beginning their social development in their family. With a care giver, and/or nursery; the 3-6 child is part of their family and their class; and the 6-12 child wants to work and be a part of a group.
4. Value process over product; there is more learning in the doing than in the result.
5. Use encouragement rather than praise. When they hear, “You worked hard to get your shirt on all by yourself ” rather than “good job,” they learn to look to themselves to understand what worked, rather than looking to us for praise.
6. Give them freedom to work on things they are interested in – rather than what the teacher/adult tells them – or a timeline.
7. Provide safe limits. Offer security and show that someone cares about them.
8. Allow them the freedom to choose what, where, and with whom they’d like to work.
9. Provide a clear rhythm to their day so that they know what to expect.
10. Help them learn respect for themselves, each other, and the environment – they feel truly accepted and learn to accept others.
11. Encourage those agreements are made together – they feel like a valued member of the community.
12. Let them know that it’s a safe place to practice boundaries – we can support them with words if needed, “I’d like to work by myself right now. It will be available soon.”
13. Honor who they are; each member is unique and valued – builds their sense of self.
14. Help them learn to look after themselves, others, and the environment – it’s empowering to be able to do this for themselves.
15. Show trust in them – by removing external rewards and punishments.
16. Help them to make amends when needed – they know that when they get it wrong, they will take responsibility and learn from the experience.
17. Value curiosity – learning is about finding out rather than memorizing facts
18. Allow them to have choices – they have ‘agency’ in their days
19. Provide honest, instructive feedback – we see what’s going well and how they can do better; give them gentle guidance to keep improving.
20. Offer different ways to learn; we all learn in different ways and on different days; the materials appeal to kinesthetic, visual, and aural learners, and they can choose how they’d like to present their work, from a booklet to a survey to a poster etc.
21. Be their guide – not their boss or servant
22. Help children build ‘scaffold skills’ – where each activity builds on the next to allow mastery.
23. Support them to develop their own routines/ rhythms, such as taking an activity to a table or mat and returning it when it’s done.
24. Help children develop their thinking skills – they are learning to learn through hands-on learning and making discoveries for themselves; they help younger children and consolidate their own learning; they reflect on what they have learned.
25. Keep it real; children are not learning just for the sake of learning. They are learning how it applies in the real world giving meaning to their work.
26. The absence of tests or punishments allows a natural love of learning, while maintaining their creativity and interest in learning
27. Model intrinsic motivation ourselves as adults; our actions are more powerful than our words.
28. Provide control-of-error activities, which will allow children to discover their errors and try again.
29. Offer challenges at the appropriate level. Children do not feel unmotivated, because they know that they can do hard things, and they do not want to give up.
30. Encourage service in the community. This allows children to see and appreciate the impact of their work.
31. Children can have a healthy relationship with failure: the guide and classmates are supportive; children are able to stay with something until they master it and are ready to move onto the next activity; and they learn to ask for help if needed.
32. Remove competition for sticker charts or praise; children do not need rewards from others. Help them look to themselves instead of someone else.
33. Allow time to help children build skills, e.g., planning skills, learning to dress themselves, how to make a report, etc.
34. Children are in charge of their own learning: they learn uniquely, have their unique interests; and are on their own unique timeline.
35. Adults can trust the Montessori process, without forcing their own agenda.
36. Help children support themselves as they become members of their society.
37. Be patient; learning happens at its own pace and isn’t forced.
38. Plant seeds of curiosity, enough to get them interested, and not too much to allow them to discover the rest for themselves.
39. Encourage the possibility for big work and big ideas that looks at the interdisciplinary nature of the universe.
40. Allow space for all voices; we want everyone in our community to feel valued, accepted, and safe.
41. Avoid criticism or correction; instead, observe where children are in their process, and offer another opportunity to teach it again.
42. Learn from others. We can see others learning and be inspired to learn that too.
It’s never too late to start applying these principles. We can even scaffold the skills with a child in Upper Elementary (9-12 years), first helping them plan, then letting them take over more and more steps themselves. •
Simone Davies is the author of The Montessori Toddler and co-author of The MontessoriBaby, comprehensive guides to raising toddlers and infants in a Montessori way. The books are based on her 15+ years’ experience working as an AMI Montessori teacher in Sydney and in Amsterdam. She also has a popular blog, Instagram, and podcast “The Montessori Notebook”.She is also mother to two young adults.Simone currently runs parent-childMontessori classes in Amsterdam at her school, Jacaranda Tree Montessori, and is working on another book with Junnifa Uzodike, The Montessori Child for children from 3-12 years.
With hundreds of practical ideas for every aspect of living with a toddler, here are five principles for feeding your child’s natural curiosity, from “Trust in the child” to “Fostering a sense of wonder.” Step-by step ways to cultivate daily routines with ease, like brushing teeth, toilet-training, and dealing with siblings
The Dump Truck Story
The Dump Truck Story
What happens when we normalize ‘disaster’ thinking and accept the mess
by Alicia Diaz-David
When my son was two years old, he scribbled on his dump truck with a brown marker and announced that he would wash it right there in the middle of our living room floor. My first reaction was to gasp when I noticed the brown scribbles. My second reaction was to see where his plan of action would take him.
So, I watched as he used the foaming soap dispenser to lather his hands and then rub the foam on the dump truck that was still on the living room floor. And I watched as he headed to the bathroom to fill his large bath-time cup with water to rinse off the foamy soap.
And that’s when I jumped in. Not stopping him but offering him another line of thinking by asking what would happen if he poured the water on the truck right there where it was. Thankfully, he responded that it would spill. I suggested we bring the dump truck outside to our front steps, where a giant water spill would not matter as much.
And the rest happened as you might imagine. My son happily poured water over the soapy brown marker and watched as it splashed on the cement pavers, instead of the living room floor. He went back inside the house to get a towel, which he smoothed over the water droplets on his beloved dump truck. And he smiled proudly at all that he had done.
If you are familiar with the principles of Montessori and the practice of following the child, this story may seem reasonable enough. It may seem as nothing more than a toddler exploring and experimenting with his dump truck and a mom observing and conscientiously guiding the learning moment that would unfold. However, when I submitted this story for a recent publication, it was changed. The edited version included the words, “This is going to be a disaster,” and I admit it stopped me in my tracks when I read it.
Not only was I impacted by the fact that a piece of original writing would be so altered, but also by the idea that our current thinking about children exploring and experimenting is so readily equated to things turning into a disaster.
The truth is, there is a great deal of learning in the so-called disaster. The mindful parent recognizes the learning potential when a child is following her own reasoning. The prepared adult is ever-present, jumping in to help only with the hard parts. That is the true meaning of Montessori parenting, as I’ve read in countless books, learned in Montessori training, and experienced personally with my own children at home.
So, I write today to challenge this thinking and normalize what we would otherwise consider a ‘disaster.’ When we let our children explore their ideas, when we observe this process, we realize that we are truly being given the gift of watching a genius at play.
Our job as adults is not to limit or edit this experience but to let it unfold and only redirect it when necessary. What I learned from my two-year-old son that day—what I witnessed—was a young toddler exhibiting complex executive-function skills, a little boy filled with resolute determination, a confident multi-cultural child ready and willing to solve problems in the world.
I hope that in the future, we don’t edit stories like this. These are moments to cherish for what they are … the awakening of life itself. •
Alicia Diaz-David is a parent and educator with over 15 years’ experience in education. She has followed the Montessori approach at home since her children were born and is a certified Montessori guide for ages 3-6. She is also the founder of TeachLearnMontessori.org, which is dedicated to helping parents better understand the Montessori philosophy and simplify the approach. You can learn more about supporting children’s growth and development using Montessori via the real-life stories she shares on Instagram @MontessoriwithAlicia or on her blog at TeachLearnMontessori.org.
Less Talk – More Respect
Do you feel like you talk too much about your child’s behavior? Are you constantly repeating your requests and explaining things your children already understand? Joe Newman, the author of “Raising Lions” will talk about how replacing our explanations and lectures with action boundaries, will get better behavior from our kids and will raise those kids into adults who are both confident about themselves and connected to other’s feelings and needs.
2020 NewGate School Seniors Interview
Three Rules for Positively Guiding Toddlers
How do we decide when a toddler’s behavior is inappropriate? Together we will discuss the questions to ask ourselves before we intervene in a child’s play. Then, we will consider three simple, easy to understand rules that aid toddlers’ understanding, support collaboration and help avoid power struggles.
Helping Children to Be Successful: Developing Grit
by Rachel Buechler
A little girl sits at the table with the Snap Dressing Frame. She has picked it up several times before today and quickly returned it to its stand after a short attempt. Today she picks it up and places it on the table. She tries the first snap; it doesn’t connect. She looks at the snap from the left side, then the right side. She tries again; it doesn’t connect. She looks at her teacher for help. The teacher demonstrates how to connect the snap then returns it to its unconnected state. The child moves onto the snap above and, as she pushes down, she hears it connect. She pauses, smiles. Then goes back to try the first one; it still doesn’t connect. She squeals in frustration. She takes a moment to look again and again; then she keeps trying. This continues for twenty minutes until she looks at the dressing frame and the three connected snaps. She sighs and smiles then exclaims, “I did it!” Her teacher says, “You did it!” The little girl continues to look at the completed work before quickly taking it apart again to repeat the lesson.
There is so much for us to learn from this toddler’s determination to work on mastering this lesson. She is showing us how we can develop a skill that will place us ahead of others in the working world: grit. Grit is what keeps us working with our children, even when it is hard, even when we think we aren’t getting the results we want, or the progress is slower than we hoped. No matter what, we keep thinking of new ideas to try and keep believing we will see results. We are displaying grit. How can you help your students, or your own children, develop grit?
1. EXPRESS FRUSTRATION
Let the child experience frustration. This is hard to do when we can see the solution to their problem is so easy for us to fix. As they try to fit puzzle pieces into a board, we can see they just need to turn it a little further, and we can feel so helpful if we just showed them how it fit by reaching over to place the piece. If we continue to solve the child’s frustrations, we are robbing them of the opportunity to feel greater success in working through the issue. We are also telling them that anytime they are frustrated, they should rely on an adult to solve the issue. We need our future leaders to learn how to problem solve and persist to solution by accepting frustration, then working through it.
2. THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF HELP
During the Dressing Frame story, the teacher did show that the snap can be connected and, thus, modeled the action for the child. The teacher also returned the snap to its original state so the child would continue to work from where she left off. Deciding exactly what help children need is critical to allowing them to persist with the challenge, but not discourage them by completing it on their behalf. It also helps children to learn when to ask for help.
If we continue to solve the child’s frustrations, we are robbing them of the opportunity to feel greater success in working through the issue.
3. ENCOURAGE REPETITION
Even if children don’t succeed with lessons, tomorrow might just be the day they will figure it out. Maria Montessori believed repetition was the key to mastering a skill. If an infant went to walk for the first time but fell after one step, and we said: “Looks like that’s not the activity for you,” they would likely feel discouraged from attempting it again. Our response is more likely to be supportive, helping them up and encouraging them to try again and again until they are walking with stability. This is how we should help our children attempt many lessons in different areas of the classroom or skills at home. There are times when a child masters a difficult skill and then finds joy from repeating the lesson over again, as it gets easier and easier each time. As new skills are developing, mistakes will be made. When mistakes are made, we must be matter of fact about them. As the book, The Montessori Toddler, says, “Mistakes are simply opportunities to learn… if they break or spill things, we can have things at the ready for them to help tidy it up…. We can model being friendly about mistakes by not taking ourselves too seriously when we make mistakes” (Davis, 2018, p.93).

4. CELEBRATE VICTORY
The child had picked up the Snap Dressing Frame several times on various days before and realized, through self-awareness, that this was not a task that would give her immediate success. There were other skills that needed to be built first. This shows great knowledge in knowing her own abilities and where she is ready to seek the next challenge. By allowing children to guide their own learning journeys through choice and freedom, they develop more than the academic skills. They build skills in planning, organization, order, and determination (or grit). The growth of these skills allows children to feel internal celebration when they complete activities on which they have been working. This grows confidence as children learn how to fail and keep persisting until they succeed. As the book, The Confidence Code, says, “failing fast allows for constant adjustment, testing, and then quick movement toward what will actually work” (Kay & Shipman, 2014, p. 140).
ADULT INTERVENTIONS THAT DISCOURAGE THE DEVELOPMENT OF GRIT:
• Jumping in to help before you have assessed exactly how much help the child truly needs. Give only this amount of help. The joy within the child comes from persisting through a difficult task to reaching completion.
• Saying “good job” or “I like it when you_____”. These statements make the success about you and not about the internal development of the child.
• Moving the child away from a task because you think it looks too difficult prevents developing grit. Let them try; model it. Help them to determine what is too difficult. Don’t become frustrated or upset about mistakes made.
REFERENCES:
Davies, S. (2018) The Montessori Toddler. Amsterdam: Jacaranda Tree Publishing Kay, K. & Shipman, C. (2014). The Confidence Code. New York: HarperCollins
Rachel Buechler earned her BA in Education in 2009 before relocating to Charlotte, NC from England, UK. She joined Charlotte Montessori School in 2010and was the Lead Toddler Teacher for three years. During that time she earned her Infant/Toddler Montessori Certification. Ms. Buechler enjoys the individualization of the Montessori classroom foreach child and watching them follow their own unique interests as they learn and grow in the classroom.
TOMORROW’S CHILD © • NOVEMBER 2019 • WWW.MONTESSORI.ORG
Five day a week attendance
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
The Genius of Natural Childhood: Infants and Toddlers
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
Practically Speaking (About Practical Life)
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
Sample Toddler Curriculum Scope & Sequence Age 1 1/2 to 3
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
My Child’s Learning Experiences in Their School and Classroom: Parent Involvement and Support
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.
The Making of Great Little People – A Diet For Little Learners
To continue reading, you will need to choose a subscription plan.