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Part 2 – From Life’s Moments to Resolutions, Putting Resolutions Into Practice

Part 2 – From Life’s Moments to Resolutions, Putting Resolutions Into Practice

by | Family Resources, Montessori Family Life, Montessori Parenting, Webinars / MFA

Once you have decided on your resolutions, how do you and your family put them into practice? How do you make them stick? This 2nd part of the series will be loaded with practical, fun ideas and examples of how to get going and keep going. Join the Montessori Family Support Team as they offer suggestions for helping your family stay aware of your goals and motivated to keep moving forward with them.
Helping Parents Help Themselves

Helping Parents Help Themselves

by | Emotional Intelligence (EQ), Empowerment, Family Resources, Free Reads, MFA, Montessori Education, Montessori Family Life, Montessori Parenting, Tomorrow's Child Online Issue

The Montessori Foundation, in cooperation with a collaborative set up in mid-March, of this year, is striving to help parents figure out ways to deal with the new reality of Covid 19.

For many, you are working from home for the first time. How do you manage your time and energy when the children are home and they, too, are trying to do school work in a remote way you all never imagined would become the rule of the day? Not to mention that you may be competing with your children for internet access!

Jonathan Wolff, Montessori Foundation Senior Consultant, was the presenter at a parent zoom meeting. His topic was, “Sharing Words of Love, Empathy, and Encouragement with Children in Unsettling Times.” Along with Lorna McGrath (Director of the Montessori Family Alliance) and Christine Lowry (Special Education Specialist and another of the Foundation’s Senior Consultants), they shared an array of coping strategies.

For those who did not participate, we have a recap of the suggestions we hope you will find helpful.

1. Get in Touch with your own feelings. If you’ve ever flown on a plane, the famous line the crew gives to you when demonstrating the proper steps to using those oxygen masks should be popping into your head about now. Place your own mask on first, and then you can help others. It’s not being selfish, it’s being proactive. In a way, we are all grieving. We are grieving for the loss of the lives we aren’t getting to live right now and we are, perhaps, grieving for a loved one struck down by this virus. Some of us have lost jobs and income and we are grieving that loss. These are all real and valid feelings to acknowledge and should not be diminished or thought of as being selfish. Right now, you need to make sure that your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are being met if even on a small level.

2. Check in with your children regarding their thoughts and feelings before you see any behavioral issues manifesting. By observing any changes in their behavior or attitudes, you can greatly aid in keeping them calm and feeling safe. Depending on the age of the child(ren), you might notice they have reverted to bed wetting or having accidents during the day, acting out, having nightmares, not eating, or generally being clingy. Try to manage this before you are in the ‘reacting’ phase of handling it.

3. Respond with empathy and no judgement before offering a solution. “How are you feeling about …?” “What do you think about the online learning you have to be doing now?” Probe them gently, but respect the boundary if they don’t feel like sharing when you are asking. Let them know you are there for them if and when they are ready.

The last thing you want an already anxious child to experience is a freaked-out mom or dad. That’s a lot for a child to process. Sometimes less is more with very young children.

4. Sharing your fears. You can be honest with your child; however, children have an uncanny ability to pick up on parental fears. The last thing you want an already anxious child to experience is a freaked-out mom or dad. That’s a lot for a child to process. Sometimes less is more with very young children. Regardless of children’s age or emotional maturity, children need to feel loved and reassured that you are going to keep them safe. You might explain that we are all in this together, and it’s OK that we feel this way.

5. What if you just end up losing it yourself in front of them? Jon recommends you “reboot” yourself as soon as you possibly can, assure them they are loved by you, and you are feeling better now. This is nothing they have done and you aren’t angry with them. One parent gave us a wonderful suggestion, and we’ve all decided to adopt it as well. Tell your child(ren) you need a TIME IN. Time out can really sound and be a negative if it’s not practiced in a very careful way; so when you say, “I need a time in to just give myself a few moments,” the children in your home will be more empathetic back to you.

6. Make certain that if you have a partner who shares the responsibility of the child(ren) that you speak with one voice. Discuss privately and before talking to the children, how you will handle certain situations. You need to provide a unified front when they might be trying to pit you against each other.

7. Do not be afraid to seek outside professional help, if you feel that you are all operating in crisis mode. With remote telemedical delivery available in many states, you may be able to get the counseling you and your partner need. It’s been speculated that the divorce rate in China has skyrocketed by spouses who could not get along during the weeks of isolation. Know that there will be pitfalls, highs and lows, patience wearing thinner as the period of stay in or stay-home-orders get longer than we might have been prepared to accept at the beginning of all of this.

8. PLEASE, limit the amount of media you view during the day when they could be listening in. While it’s important you keep yourselves well informed, it can really impact young children. Set periodic updates on your devices from trusted news sources if you can. Then watch after they are in bed for the night.

9. Limit online games that are based on ‘the zombie apocalypse’ or are very isolating. This will serve no good purpose. Involve the children in family time. Use this time to really connect with your children. It will make you all appreciate each other more and that’s a good outcome for all.

Strategies for Montessori Home Learning

Strategies for Montessori Home Learning

by | Child's Work, Family Resources, Free Reads, MFA, Montessori Education, Montessori Family Life, Montessori Parenting, Tomorrow's Child Online Issue

The world in the palm of her hand tim seldin

Review:

The World in the Palm of Her Hand
By Tim Seldin
click to purchase

For parents who want some actual scripting on working with their children at home, we recommend this book. I used it on many occasions with my four granddaughters and they enjoyed the activities immensely. You do not need to be in a classroom to have these kinds of conversations about the world in which they live. The book actually contains the introductory lessons for young learners in the areas of Geography and History but our intent is show you that it is possible to have great conversations with your Montessori child in a Montessori way (incidentally, that is the name of another amazing book!).

The carefully constructed lessons your child’s guide delivers is done in what they call the Three-Part Lesson format.

The carefully constructed lessons your child’s guide delivers is done in what they call the Three-Part Lesson format. I’m going to share from the book so you can see how you can do this as well. And again, we don’t expect you to become a Montessori guide nor have the specific materials in your home; our purpose is to help you understand some ways you can engage your children and just follow the format, so that the message is delivered in a verbal way that children are used to hearing from their guide.

LESSON: COLOR IDENTIFICATION:
For the youngest children, who are just learning to master their ability to identify colors.

color tiles montessori at homeTo illustrate how you could do this at home, you could use a variety of ways to demonstrate colors if you don’t have a set of color tiles: index cards (or color swatches for paint that you can get from hardware stores) already made up with first the primary colors of red, yellow and blue. When your children have mastered the primary colors, you can move on to secondary colors: green, purple and orange. You can always use real objects you have in the house, such as fruits and veggies of different colors. Keep it simple and keep it to just a few colors.

Have all your materials set up before you ‘invite’ the child to the work. You might say, “Would you like to do some work with colors right now?” Starting your sentence with “would you” makes it clearer that this isn’t some kind of test with consequences.

First Period
Name the color, “This is red.” Show the child the object.
“This is blue.” Show the child the object.
“This is yellow.” Show the child the object.
Remember to sound really enthusiastic.

Second period
This will help the child link the language and her own experience.
Say, “Would you show me the red (object)?”
“Would you show me the yellow?”
“Would you show me the blue?”
The second period actually does involve some deep learning, so you may need to go back to saying it the first way a few times. Try to sound positive as you restate the names of the colors while showing them each respectively.

Third period
Now you get to ask the child, while pointing to one of the objects, “Which one is red?” and so forth. If the child is unable to make the connection you may need to start at the beginning.

This is just a simple example, but might be useful in understanding that each child learns these skills at their own pace. Should you have an older child, you can use this delivery for more building vocabulary. Call objects by their correct names. For instance, if you are working on naming animals, call a cat a cat and not a kitty; a dog is a dog, and not a doggie. If the child is even older and you have, for instance, a German Shepherd, refer to the breed.

In the Montessori class, lessons are initiated in three ways:

  1. The teacher senses children’s readiness and invites them to join her/him for a lesson.
  2. Children become interested spontaneously and ask for a lesson.
  3. The teacher notices when children choose materials for which they have not yet been given a lesson and comes over to present the lesson.

Presenting the Fundamental Lesson: The fundamental lesson is the basic presentation given by Montessori teachers to introduce children to a new material or activity. If it is to have the enticing quality previously described, teachers must prepare themselves carefully.

  1. Teachers must be sure that they are completely familiar with the material and its correct use in order to prevent confusing children with their own uncertainty.
  2. The lesson must be simple and concise enough that the children will be certain to understand.
  3.  The fundamental lesson usually includes only a few words of explanation followed by a demonstration of the typical cycle of work with this material.
  4. To avoid unnecessary distraction, spoken language is limited when presenting the lesson to younger children; nonverbal communication seems to lead to less confusion.
  5. Be sure that all the pieces are present for the lesson/material you are presenting. Nothing is more disruptive to the child’s interest and concentration than discovering that something is missing.
  6. Prepare your work area in advance, allowing for enough space.
  7. Remember the aims of the lesson.
  8. Make your presentation quietly dramatic, emphasizing the key points referred to in the lessons under the heading Points of Emphasis.
  9. When your lesson is finished, either put the materials away with the children’s help, or withdraw to let them work on their own, making sure that they return all the materials when they are done.

The Flag of My Heart is Flying at Half Mast

The Flag of My Heart is Flying at Half Mast

by | Empowerment, Free Reads, MFA, Montessori Family Life, School Leadership, Social Justice, The International Montessori Council

Even more, after the news of the past few weeks and most recently, I am afraid for my son, a black man. I am afraid for my two black adopted brothers and for young men of color everywhere, as the world becomes browner. When things occur in the world, I am moved to address our parent body, but I have spent days with no words—only feelings of the deepest sadness, anger, fear and resolve to resist this virus of racism that keeps infiltrating our communities. In my morning walk, I kept looking up at the flag in front of City Hall, saying ‘why isn’t the flag at half-mast?’ This is such a devastation for our nation. Why aren’t we mourning the hearts of individuals across the nation as we strive to
try to put our feelings around this atrocity somewhere?

I understand the number of protests that are occurring around the US and the Bay Area, as there is a horrible helplessness that who we feel we are as humans is defied by what we see—even now. Even now, we still have lessons to learn about humanity, racism, and otherness. Even now, we still have to self-check our own biases which spill out into our thoughts and actions. Even now, we must face the reality that deep down, we still have work to do every day.

Even now, we still have to self-check our own biases which spill out into our thoughts and actions. Even now, we must face the reality that deep down, we still have work to do every day.

This weekend, there will be protests everywhere. I implore you to make good decisions regarding these protests, whether you attend, watch on television or speak of them:

  1. If you feel moved to protest, please do it peacefully.
  2. Please remove yourself from any protest that begins to change from peaceful to violent in any way.
  3. Please do not condone violent protests in comments.

There is a very serious reason that I make this request. It is not simply because you should not risk being injured or arrested. There is an underlying stereotype about men of color—Black men specifically, that Black men are violent. Responding to this horrific situation with violence exacerbates the notion that Black people are violent and/or incite others to violence. This very notion is a part of what gives others the twisted belief that they must be violent toward Black men in order to be safe.

Please give the utmost of respect to Black men nationwide by holding up the truth that this stereotype is incorrect, and that Black people can be promoters of peace, keepers of peace, and models of peace.

The flag of my heart is at half-mast, for the family of Mr. Floyd, for the families of so many disenfranchised people, so many people of color, Black and Brown men especially, for so many poor people who need justice. As Dr. King said, “true peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.” We must stand for what is right, for the lives of our children are at stake.

In Peace,
Dr. Cindy Acker
May 29, 2020